On This Side Of The Mirror

Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness Teaching Videos

2012-01-17T19:09:00.003-06:00

Hello Friends! I wanted to let you know that I am releasing teaching videos on Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness at the following website:

http://vimeo.com/35111240

The first is an introduction to my study entitled: Two Kinds of Suffering

These teaching videos come from my current bible study teaching sessions at my home church Forest Hills Baptist Church in Nashville, TN. This study will be running the next eight weeks and I anticipate posting videos each week.

May the Lord bless you as you bless others!!

Happy New Year!!

2011-12-31T16:05:00.002-06:00

I am, by nature, given to introspection, especially as each December 31st rolls around. It is no different this year. I always can hardly believe how quickly the year has gone. Many of us may be looking in anticipation for the next twelve months. Perhaps you will reach a milestone that you have waited for with longing like a graduation or a wedding or the birth of a new baby.

2011 was not an easy year to live through for me. Maybe you feel the same way. When we belong to Jesus Christ, we always can live with hope, no matter what our circumstances may be. Join me as I share a story about a little girl who was an example to someone much older than she in the face of danger. Her trust is something we can also cling to.

Happy New Year, my friends! And may God's favor be poured out on your lives lavishly!

But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

God's Amazing Gifts - Perseverance

2011-12-22T11:11:00.002-06:00

Perseverance is a virtue that is rarely seen in our culture today. We have become so used to experiencing comfort and having an entitlement mentality that allows us to believe we should always be happy at all times. But there are times when our God asks more of us as He allows us to be very uncomfortable for a season. I will admit that I have not wanted to fight through to the finish on some of the situations He has asked me to persevere through. I have wanted to give up and escape. I have wanted to take the "easier" route.

But perserverance has great reward. We are promised in Scripture to have our character changed into the image of Christ if we continue to persevere. What is it, my dear friend, that God is calling you to that is so very difficult today? Which of the following applies to you?

* A loveless marriage
* Purity in singleness
* A struggle with infertility
* Loneliness in a new city or country
* Standing alone for what is right when no one else is standing with you
* Loving a wayward child
* Forgiving a betrayal
* The monotony of a job that provides, but does not satisfy
* Financial difficulties
* Feeling insignificant or overlooked
* Praying for a loved one to fall in love with Jesus Christ with little or no progress seen

We can't give up! Our Jesus has promised us great reward. He has asked us not to throw away our confidence. Let's continue to do the hard thing - to persevere beyond what we know we can endure. With the Holy Spirit's empowerment, we will be able to do the will of God, no matter how difficult that path is.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Hebrews 10:35-36

God's Amazing Gifts - Desperation

2011-12-21T10:18:00.003-06:00

Desperation can be a gift? When I think of desperation, I cringe because I look back on foolish behavior in my actions fueled by desperation. Human beings rarely act rationally when they are desperate. Instead, they can make some of the biggest mistakes of their lives when desperate.

But when we give our desperation to the Lord, the entire course of our life can change. Please join me in Day five of God's Amazing Gifts as I share how God took the desperation I offered to Him and gave me a new and fulfilling life I never had before.

‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’
Jeremiah 33:3

God's Amazing Gifts - Persistent Prayer

2011-12-20T13:01:00.002-06:00

It can be very discouraging when we have been praying within the will of God for a long time and nothing seems to be happening. I hope you will join me for Day 4 of God's Amazing Gifts. This gift of persistent prayer is one that I have personally seen come to life in my own experience with a close friend.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:1-8

Let's go to Him again and not give up!

God's Amazing Gifts - Being Overlooked

2011-12-16T10:22:00.002-06:00

This gift can hurt us deeply if we are looking to others for our self-worth. There is such a craving in us to be recognized, remembered, and valued by others. That longing to be held in esteem by others is God-given, but can only safely be met in His approval, not the approval of fickle human beings. Join me for a powerful story that reminds us that even though we may feel unappreciated or forgotten by others, a glad day is coming for those who have made Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord that will forever satisfy our need to belong and to be recognized.

Day three of God's Amazing Gifts.

"...because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

God's Amazing Gifts- Weakness

2011-12-14T07:21:00.004-06:00

I was horrified to receive this gift in front of a group of strangers. But God has truly started to change my perspective on how much I need to practice this gift in my life. A world that is hurting does not need you and me to look perfect. In fact, the lie of that perfection is discouraging and unrelatable. Instead, this gift is like a magnet for someone looking for the only One who is flawless in His strength and power.

Join me for day two of God's Amazing Gifts!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

God's Amazing Gifts - Homesickness

2011-12-12T09:45:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas, friends!

I know that this time of year is so busy. For most of us, the Christmas season is a happy time, but not for everyone. In fact, the month of December can be very difficult for some of us because we are faced with painful memories or a sense of not belonging-perhaps feeling as though we are on the outside looking in at someone else's joy.

The video series I am starting today is going to look at some of the gifts that God gives us that may not initially be thought of as gifts because they are difficult to receive. Each one, however, can be powerfully used by Jesus Christ to transform us and our outlook on life. I am praying that we would ask the Lord to change the way we view the difficulties that He has allowed in our lives to see that through these very hard circumstances, we can be changed in ways that will glorify Him and allow us to have empathy for others that we would not have had otherwise.

Today I start with a feeling we all have had at one time or another - the feeling of being homesick.

The key to relieve our homesickness is found in Psalm 16:11:

You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

I pray that your hearts would be encouraged as we remember: The best is yet to come!

Release Day is Tomorrow!

2011-11-07T09:45:00.002-06:00

I am beyond excited to share my newest Bible study with you, Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness. I have struggled so much with the question:

What does biblical forgiveness really look like?

I love stories. I love family stories. If you invited me to your house, I would ask you to bring out your photo albums and tell me about the people who are in your pictures. Each of us has a story and I would love to hear yours.

No one tells a story like God. Only He is able to lay out a family narrative in His Word and amaze us by how we see ourselves as one of the characters we are studying. We also can see others who have played an important role in our own stories as we immerse ourselves in Scripture.

Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness is the study of one of the most dysfunctional families ever to walk this planet and gives us a front row seat to some of God's most redemptive work in human beings' lives. If you and I have ever wondered if our own families could be healed from the ravages of jealousy, hatred, favoritism, estranged parents and children, and the devastation of betrayal, I am praying that this study will give us all hope that our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His power is not limited to a family situation that happened over three thousand years ago, but is very real and available to us today in our own personal relationships.

It has been my deepest prayer that women would understand that forgiveness is the key to the prison door that has kept so many of us from the abundant life and joy that Christ offers to each of us. I pray that we will not give Satan any more ground in this area. Jesus has come to set us free and we will be free indeed.

Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

I am ready for some healing in this area of forgiving others, aren't you?

Feeding the Pigs

2011-11-01T19:51:00.001-05:00

God loves runaways who want to come home, but sometimes He has to get our attention in unforgettable ways. A lesson from the greatest short story ever told found in Luke 15.

A Lesson in Favoritism

2011-10-10T09:15:00.006-05:00

God's Word is limitless in its ability to transform me and to open my eyes to what I was blind to before. He has a way of stepping all over my toes. One of the most dynamic discussions my pilot group had this summer was concerning the devastation caused by favoritism in our families. There is hardly a more fertile place for bitterness and an inability to forgive to grow than in this area.

If you and I ever wanted to read a Biblical story that highlighted dysfunction in a family, and how God redeemed despite deep hurts, the story of Joseph and his family is one we have to study. Favoritism was blatant in each generation of Joseph's family, starting with his great-grandparents, Abraham and Sarah, continuing on through his grandparents, Isaac and Rebekah, and touching his father, Jacob, and Jacob's four wives. It caused utter destruction in the life of Joseph.

Our culture is obsessed with appearance and wealth. If I brought my Congolese family here to the United States, I know that they would be horribly misjudged by their lack of fashion, shabby clothing, and personal hygiene practices (if you have to decide between eating and buying soap, deodorant, or toothpaste, food always wins out).

Yet these beautiful poor are some of the richest people who have ever walked this earth because they know where their Help comes from--a truth that can be hidden from me because of a job, a bank account, a house, or a comfortable lifestyle. They are rich in faith--the one thing that pleases God above all else.

The Lord was gracious to show me how He sees what is truly valuable in a real-life experience that happened on our mission station. I hope that you will spend the next two + minutes with me to hear how He taught me why favoritism has the potential of robbing me of His blessing.

Three Levels of Faith

2011-10-07T12:54:00.009-05:00

Rob and I are walking through a storm right now that came up suddenly and without warning. I wish I could tell you that I have not been afraid of the storm. But I would not be telling the truth. This week I have been desperate to hear my Sweet Jesus' voice. I have realized again how lost I am without Him and how frightening life can be if I cannot see very far ahead of me. This is a week when my prayers have been frightened whispers in the night as we walk a road that is broken and full of unknowns.

I have gone back to some of my favorite mentors in the faith--Charles Spurgeon, Matthew Henry, and Mrs. L.B. Cowmen, whose comforting words let me know that I am not the first one who has felt this way. I wanted to share an entry in her book, Streams in the Desert, because I know that someone else needs to hear these words:

"There are three levels of faith in the Christian experience. The first is being able to believe only when we see some sign or have some strong emotion. This may be genuine faith, but it is imperfect. It is continually looking tonfeelings or some other sign instead of the Word of God. We have taken a great step toward maturity when we trust God without relying on our feelings...

While the first level of faith believes when our emotions are favorable, the second believes when all feelings are absent. And the third level transcends the other two, for it is faith that believes God and His Word when circumstances, emotions, appearances, people, and human reason all seem to urge to the contrary."

I am realizing how much I rely on feelings, a sign, a clear assurance of His favor. I have heard Him ask, in the middle of the tempest,

"Shawn, I am perfectly trustworthy. Can I trust you to believe that even when you don't clearly see My face or know where I am leading you?"

And, like the father in the gospel of Mark whom Jesus confronted about his level of faith in Christ's desire to heal his son, I keep saying over and over again, with my whole heart,

Lord, I believe! Help me in my unbelief!

Mark 9:24

Be still my soul! The winds and waves still know,
His voice who ruled them,
While He dwelt below.

Katherina von Schlegel

The Discipline of Being Still

2011-09-27T14:27:00.002-05:00

I hate to wait. I find myself reminded of this lack of patience in my life many times during my day:

* If I think the person ahead of me isn't driving fast enough.

* If I believe I can do something faster or more efficiently than someone else.

* If I believe the lady in front of me at Kroger is taking a tad too long at unloading her grocery cart.

It is in those times that I am reminded again how far I have to go in the discipline of being still before God. As I was teaching my Bible study, Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness, this summer, I realized the horrific consequences of individuals deciding they could not wait as they played out in the family of Joseph, starting back with his great-grandparents, Abraham and Sarah; his grandparents, Isaac and Rebekah, and his father, Jacob, and the four women who shared his life, including Joseph's mother, Rachel.

Because manipulation and a frantic desire to control tainted each of those generations, bitterness and hatred characterized the relationships of family members who should have loved each other. I wonder, my dear friend, if that is the cause of the dysfunction in our families, too. Where has a lack of being still before God wreaked havoc and caused words and actions to be said and done that are such a struggle to forgive each other for?

Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth

Psalm 46:10 (AMP)

May we be still enough to be able to let be and know that He is God!

The Plan of Glory

2011-09-23T14:44:00.003-05:00

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” John 11:40

What does the plan of glory look like? I don't know about you, but I have my own ideas of what God's glory would and should look like in my life. These ideas never include a path of suffering. Instead, my ideas of God's glory include life experiences that wow me in some spectacular way and fill me with inexpressible delight. My idea of God's plan of glory would always comfort me, not cause me to wrestle with confusion or pain over not understanding what He was doing in my life.

What I am learning as I continue this journey with Jesus is that my ideas are not His. Suffering is one of the instruments He uses to transform me into someone like Himself. God's plan of glory included a cross for His beloved, perfect Son. But I balk at the cross that He has asked me to take up daily as I follow Him.

John the Baptist did everything right. His birth was predicted in Scripture long before he ever arrived. He was born to godly parents. He lived a consecrated, sold-out life to proclaiming that Jesus Christ was Israel's long-awaited Messiah. Yet, he found himself in prison for his faith. He was never released, but was beheaded at the request of the daughter of a wicked woman.

Sometimes, my darling friend, the plan of glory does not look anything like we thought it would. We can miss that God is even in our circumstances because our own ideas of what He should do for us collide with our reality and cloud our vision. My precious group of ladies discussed this confusing dilemma we sometimes find ourselves in as we encounter the plan of glory God has for us.

Standing on faith in our faithful God when we cannot readily see why He is allowing our life circumstances will ultimately allow us to see what may have been hidden from us before - His perfect plan of glory.

Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment!

2011-09-14T20:16:00.003-05:00

Here's a peek into a teaching session of my new Bible study I had with one of the most incredible group of ladies this summer. God is slowly teaching me the principle I talk about here. May I be diligent in my obedience!

Blessings to you, my friend!

Jenna's Closet

2011-08-31T21:53:00.004-05:00

What does a bulging closet and a heart that is struggling to forgive have in common? I hope you will stay around for the next two and a half minutes to find out! Blessings to you!

Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness

2011-08-24T22:15:00.008-05:00

I am so excited to share a small segment of my new Bible study with you on forgiveness. I have just finished seven weeks with some of the most amazing women as we dug into God's Word and found healing and comfort for some of our deepest hurts caused by others. This is the second study in my Living With Unmet Desires series. The study centers on the life and family of Joseph in the book of Genesis. I hope you will take the time to take a listen!

Blessings to you!

Playing the Wrong Game

2011-04-19T15:52:00.004-05:00

I watched with painful realization as one of my children played his competitor's game during an athletic competition. As the first two games were lost, I could visibly see the hope fizzle away as a cloud of discouragement settled in on my child. It wasn't capability that cost him the win. He could have pulled out and had victory. But once his feet had touched the mire and muck of discouragement, he started doubting the truth that he could win. The match was a mental exercise in staying above the roar of the voices in his head that said, "You can't do it."

Unfortunately, he believed the voice of discouragement and could not get back out of the pit to win. Instead of playing his game and dictating how his opponent would respond, he played his opponent's game and was defeated.

I have done the same thing. This last week has been one of listening to the enemy of my soul instead of the truth that Jesus has defeated Satan's power by His death in the cross. I have been a pawn of Satan's schemes to rob me of my joy, even when Scripture clearly says that I am more than a conqueror. I need to pull out the sword of the Spirit and claim the victory that is already mine.

The enemy has been defeated. I need to stop playing his game.

Throwing Out the Check List

2011-03-14T12:30:00.006-05:00

Lord,

You are teaching me some very difficult lessons lately. You know that I am a firstborn who loves to follow the rules. I feel safe and secure inside a given boundary. You have been working on my heart which can stay aloof when I equate following the rules with obedience. Instead, you are wanting me to come to You with my brokenness and the realization that it is impossible to follow the rules perfectly.

Somehow, I have missed Your heart lately. I have approached my relationship to you like a checklist. I have thought that if I do this and this, then blessing will result. If I just devote more time to prayer. If I fast once a month. If I memorize more Scripture...maybe You will love me more? And then I have become hurt when my "obedience" has not produced the desired result I have been waiting for. Which brings me back to a deeper issue: Do I obey You out of my overwhelming gratitude and staggering brokenness which makes me realize I don't deserve any blessing at all or do I obey You to keep the letter of the law to get what I want? Have I equated Your love to me with not having to walk through anything unpleasant? Do I seek comfort above all else and believe that is Your blessing? Jesus never promised me that I would not have trouble. I am appalled and shocked at how quickly and easily I can assimilate to the world's view of blessing and feel like I am getting the short end of the stick when You don't do what I want You to. I am realizing that even a rule-keeper can be rebellious in the deep recesses of the heart. Maybe that was why Jesus rebuked the Pharisees - men who spent a lifetime studying the Scriptures, but remained lost and blind.

I certainly want to obey You. But I need to examine my disappointment when I do not receive what I was hoping for through my obedience. You tell me in Matthew 5:3, "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Another way of saying that is blessed am I when I come to You, not as a rule-keeper, but as a sinner saved by Your unmerited favor. My confessed weakness and vulnerability before Your throne allows You to take me into Your confidence - to show me if what I am pursuing if eternal or just grass that will be burned in the end. A rule-keeper can become proud in her ability to judge her own righteousness. You want me to continually remember that You alone are my righteousness. There is no good thing in me. And if and when You decide to use me, I should never compete for the glory that belongs to You alone.

I will never understand You completely in this life. I will never fathom Your sense of justice or how You can love so unconditionally. But I want to pursue Your heart and, in doing so, live the abundant life You have promised is mine. I want to experience the profound truth that it is completely about Your grace to me that I see blessing at all.

I want to be a Christ-follower more than a rule-keeper. This checklist spirituality has to go. There is no joy in this way I have been living. Pursuing a relationship with You is where my joy is found. Help me to do that with Your strength.

Through the Fire

2011-02-24T14:27:00.004-06:00

One cold November evening when I was nine years old, our 73 year-old farmhouse caught fire due to a faulty oil space heater. Weather-beaten and aged, the house was completely engulfed in flames within twenty minutes. My father was in California thousands of miles away from our western Michigan home. My mother, sister, brother, and I escaped the flames with the clothes on our backs as we ran out of the burning walls. I remember how small my voice seemed against the black frigidness of the night. Sixteen miles away from the nearest town, with our nearest neighbors a quarter mile back from the road, we appeared to be all alone during the horror we were experiencing.

God often uses a fire in our lives to give us something better. Thirteen months after the fire, our family became missionaries to the Congo. Although those years of bush living were difficult, I was able to see the power of the risen Jesus Christ in so many of our experiences. I was given a world view I would not have today. I was introduced to some of the heroes of the faith who had so little materially and yet had eternal riches I could only stand at a distance and long for myself.

What fire has the Lord had you experience lately? Have you looked to find Him and, like I thought that horrible November night long ago, thought He has left you abandoned? Listen to these amazing words of hope, my dear friend!

Psalm 66:11-12 (New International Version, ©2010)

11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
12 You let people ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.

Isaiah 43:2 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

I will be with you
when you pass through the waters,
and [when you pass] through the rivers,
they will not overwhelm you.
You will not be scorched
when you walk through the fire,
and the flame will not burn you.

Daniel 3:25-27 (New Living Translation)

25 “Look!” Nebuchadnezzar shouted. “I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god!”

26 Then Nebuchadnezzar came as close as he could to the door of the flaming furnace and shouted: “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego stepped out of the fire. 27 Then the high officers, officials, governors, and advisers crowded around them and saw that the fire had not touched them. Not a hair on their heads was singed, and their clothing was not scorched. They didn’t even smell of smoke!

The Lord may be asking you and me to go through the fire, but He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. He will be right in the fire, shielding us so that we can come out not even smelling of smoke! Hallelujah!

Jason Crabb's father wrote a song that has meant so much to me. Only those who have been through the fire can sing this and mean it. And on the other side of the fire, as much as we may never want to return to the fire, we can actually praise God for what the fire did to awaken us to Christ's power in our lives.

May it bless you, whether you are just about to go into the fire, are in the fire, or have just come out.

Through the Fire

So many times I questioned
certain circumstances
Or things I could not understand
And many times in trials
weakness blurs my vision
And then my frustration gets so out of hand
Oh but it's then, I am reminded
I've never been forsaken
And i've never had to stand one test alone
That's when I look at all the victories
And the spirit rises up in me
And it's through the fire
my weakness is made strong

He never promised
that the cross would not get heavy
And the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered a victory without fighting
But he said help would always come in time
Just remember when your standin
In the valley of decesion and the advesary
says "give in"
Just hold on, our Lord will show up
And he will take you through the fire again

I know within myself
that I would surely perish
Oh but if I trust the mighty hand of God
he'll shield the flames again, again

He never promised
that the cross would not get heavy
And the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered a victory without fighting
But he said help would always come in time
Just remember when your standin
In the valley of decesion and the advesary
says "give in"
Just hold on, our Lord will show up
And he will take you through the fire again.

The Road of Life

2011-02-08T11:48:00.002-06:00

My son, Chase, just became a first-class boy scout this weekend. He is in a fabulous troop of young men with godly leaders as examples. His scoutmaster shared this thought-provoking poem with all of us at the Scout's Court of Honor. Thank you, Andrew!

The Road Of Life

At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't KNOW Him.

But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed Christ was in the back helping me pedal.

I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. . . It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!"

I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn trust.

I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine.

And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.

And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says. . . "Pedal."

--- Author Unknown

To All My Michigan Friends!

2011-01-08T21:25:00.004-06:00

Hi everyone!

I am in my home state of Michigan this weekend and next week for some speaking engagements. I would love to extend an invitation to anyone close enough to come to Faith Church in Waterford, MI on this Monday night, January 10th, from 7-9 p.m. We are anticipating a great evening of worship and for the Lord to do work in the midst of us that only He can do. If you are interested in coming, please click on the link below for more information.

Would love to see you there!

shawn lantz at faith

No More Days Left

2011-01-01T15:38:00.005-06:00

Today is traditionally the day that I put away all things Christmas-y.
I never imagined before I had children that we would have a tree that could be disassembled and put in a box, and although I miss the pine smell teasing my olfactory senses from a real tree as I enter the room, the plug-in wafting the balsam fragrance does just fine. Two babies in 13 months and three babies in three and a half years had me trying things I never thought I would!

Speaking of my babies - all three of them - I am realizing they are not babies anymore. I needed only to look at their wish lists this Christmas to realize that their gift choices were much more adult-like in price than the toys they used to receive. My dollar went a lot farther just a couple years ago. I found myself gulping back the tears at the realization that there may not be a request for a doll from my youngest after this year. I glanced out of my peripheral vision at my almost thirteen-year-old daughter as we watched a "girl" movie together. Didn't I just snap a picture of her giving her grandma a slobbery two-year-old kiss with her adorable bed-head hair standing straight up? Where did the eleven Christmases in between go? And my handsome, noble little man has turned into a fourteen-year-old who will spend four more Christmases with us before he becomes a college student.

I realized in a profound, jolting way this year that a season of life has passed - and seemingly - right under my nose. The Lord has been calling me back to the most noble profession I believe I can have - being a godly wife and mother. I am learning, oh so painfully slowly, that I must live in the moment. That I cannot live my life two years from now, five years from now. I do not have five years anymore before my oldest will leave my nest and make his way into a world that is hopelessly impossible to navigate without Jesus. Have I done enough? Do he and his sisters know how much I love them, how I long more than anything to have my children walk in the truth?

I am no longer the thirty-something wife and mother who has children with physically demanding needs. I do not drop into bed at night, completely exhausted from running after three little ones and meeting their every need. I have time alone now. The house is quiet from 8 am to 3:30 pm Monday through Friday on most given weeks. Suddenly, the truth is dawning on me that my secret wish of having as much time as I want alone is going to be here sooner than I want it to be. There will come a day when there is no mess to clean that I didn't make. The noise level that can be irritating at times will be replaced by a deafening silence. The laundry that never gets done will be manageable again. I won't need to look for five peoples' socks whose pair I am sure get eaten by my dryer. My grocery bill will not depress me in its amount as I buy for two instead of what seems like ten now. My hair-dryer will never not be where I last put it, the beds will be made, and I will long for the raucousness that has fallen silent. I am the forty-something wife and mother who is preparing for her chicks to leave the nest.

What will my children remember about their childhoods? That I was self-absorbed? That I ministered to others, but not to them? Dear Jesus, please let it not be so! I must treasure each day with them. I need to let them see how much I love their daddy, how much a good, solid marriage is something they must each be willing to work for and pray for. I need to hug them and tell them daily why I am privileged to be their mother.

Because one day...there will be no more days left.

Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),

Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.
Ephesians 5:15-17 (Amplified)

Taking Off Shame

2010-12-10T07:41:00.006-06:00

Have you ever had one of those days where shame seems to be the main accessory to wear in your wardrobe? I love days when I get to wear beautiful clothing like grace, peace, or awe over what God is doing in my or others' lives. Shame is never a piece I put on intentionally, which is why it never fails to shock me when I realize I am covered from head to toe in its smothering layers.

I had a conversation yesterday that started out with me knowing I had said the right thing. But because I love to be a peacekeeper more often than a peacemaker, I tried to patch up the ruffled feathers that my words had caused. In doing so, I felt like I caved in, backed down, and undermined the truth I had passionately defended just moments before. I gave way to a struggle that I continue to have to work on with the Lord - the need for others' approval.

I suddenly felt the overwhelming heaviness of the coat of shame. I immediately begged the Lord for forgiveness. But the coat became heavier and heavier as the day continued to drag on. I have come to realize that the stifling voice of condemnation is vastly different from the breath of conviction by the Holy Spirit. I even called out to Jesus to help me understand that I was forgiven the second I asked for Him to forgive me. But still no relief.

I was a wreck all day. Satan is an equal opportunity accuser. He is not very creative in his methods, but he is very proficient in the ones he chooses to use. My deep-seated need for the approval of others and shrinking under the frown of their perceived disapproval of me can rob me of my joy. But when I feel I have disappointed the Lord Himself, life can become bleak.

I have always resonated with the apostle Peter - the follower of Jesus who was passionately devoted to Christ, but had an ongoing problem of putting his foot in his mouth. His zealous love of Christ was often tainted by his fear, even to the point of denying that he even knew Christ. He sobbed bitterly from the depths of his soul as the rooster crowed and Christ looked at him.

The taunts from the enemy continued into the late evening. I had claimed Scripture, I had prayed, I had asked for forgiveness no less than twenty times and I still could not take off the coat of shame.

As I was putting my children to bed last night, I heard the voice of the Lord tell me to share the situation with them. Gulp. You want me to do what, Lord? I thought as I tried to shove that thought away. I want you to humble yourself before your kids and show them how desperately you need Me. Trust Me. Obey me. I know what I am doing.

We sat on my daughter's bed, the four of us as I poured out the story to them. I confessed my fear, my sin and shortcomings, my panic over not feeling forgiven. Instead of seeing rejection in my children's eyes, all three of them ministered to me. The relief I had been desperate for all day tore that awful coat of shame from me and replaced it with gratitude for such a precious moment with my children.

Thank You, Jesus! Thank You that Your Word is true and that You multi-task. You asked me to humble myself and I walked away the winner, bonded with my children in a new way. You lavish the reward of Your grace on us when we obey You.

James 5:16 (New International Version, ©2010)

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Running to the Mercy Seat

2010-11-23T08:48:00.004-06:00

I am having some deja-vu conversations with my pre-teen daughters about what makes a girl popular in elementary and middle school. They are struggling to find their place in the unseen, but very real, pecking order that exists in the heirarchy of who is cool and who is not. I pray for them to make the right decisions and hold on to what they are wrestling with God as the truth - that real beauty is on the inside. That seems to offer little comfort at times and is a wrestling match I know all too well.

I knew early on that I was not one of those cool people. It was my hope to be friends with the cool people. Maybe some of their coolness would rub off on me. Maybe others looking at me would think I was okay because of the people that I hung out with. I knew I wasn't the prettiest girl or the brainiest. Organization was not my strong point and the thought of the public speaking I would be forced to make if I ran for student government made waves of nausea wash over me. One thing I did have was my squeaky clean self-righteousness. I was known as being the good Christian girl who didn't smoke, drink, cuss, or compromise. Thinking I had found my niche, I settled in to be the best Christian girl I could be.

It worked for me in high school. Not so much in college. I lost my identity because I started to compromise. At first, they were "little" compromises. Then big ones. And Satan screamed at me that I had blown it forever, that God could never use me, that if people only knew what I had done, I would forever be ostracized.

And so I did what I believed I had to do to survive. I lived a lie. For years I pretended I was seeking after God. But really, I was sinking in the shame of my sin living from one spiritual high to the next dark pit. The rollercoaster was awful. I wanted to get off. And the enemy of my soul convinced me that my righteous Judge was just waiting to zap me. That His angry eyes were on me. That I could never return. Or if I did, I would forever bear the shame.

I didn't know about the mercy seat.

Not a huge reader of the Old Testament on purpose, I skipped over the incredibly boring (at least at that time) details of the tabernacle and the ark of the covenant. Who cares what it was made out of and how many cubits long or wide it was, I thought. Give me a psalm any day over the tedious details of Old Testament law.

Only the high priest of Israel was allowed to go behind the heavy curtain that separated him from the Holy of holies and only once a year to ask for the atonement for the sins of himself and his people. The atonement cover on which the golden cherubim rested was the mercy seat. God would grant mercy and forgiveness for His people for another year until the high priest entered the Holy of holies again.

That all changed when God became a Man in the form of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the mercy seat. And He beckons me to come boldly before the throne of grace to receive mercy in my time of need. He is a righteous Judge, but His mercy triumphs over judgment when we throw ourselves before the mercy seat.

One day, out of my utter desperation, I went running to the mercy seat. I confessed what I had been doing. I gave to the Lord and asked Him if He could still use me. His Word told me that I had been believing a lie and that mercy was there in abundance for me. Sin is tantalizing for a season...a very short season. But nothing can compare to the freedom I have found in living a life of obedience to Jesus Christ. There is no other way to live.

I will sin until the day I die. I need to run to the mercy seat over and over again. It is not a one-time deal. And even if it has been so long since I have been there, I can come boldly before Him and find mercy that triumphs over my sin.

What are you struggling with, my dear friend? What has Satan convinced you that you have done that is beyond the mercy of Jesus and His forgiveness? There is nothing that is unforgivable at the mercy seat when we throw ourselves before Jesus and confess what we are involved in. Are you in a relationship with someone else that is addictive and you know that is not in accordance with Scripture? Maybe it's another form of addiction - pornography, alcoholism, an eating disorder, meth or drug abuse, cutting yourself, or stealing. Repenting is the key to freedom!

There is nothing beyond forgiving. There is nothing beyond the healing of the mercy seat!

Don't walk - run to the mercy seat! Jesus is waiting there for us!

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Hebrews 4:14-16 (NLT)

Bless Your Name Forevermore

2010-11-08T12:08:00.002-06:00

This is absolutely one of my very favorite songs that the Lord uses to lift me out of the pit. I have been singing its lyrics in my mind all morning. The power of our praise, especially praise that comes from a broken or confused heart, is the path that makes the way for the King of kings and Lord of lords to show me that He is the Way Maker, the Redeemer, the Comforter, the Healer, the Provider, the Prince of Peace. I hope that this song blesses you as much as it has me.

I Will Bless Your Name Forevermore by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir

From the darkness came the light
out of nothingness You made life
For before the world You were, bless Your name forevermore
Lord according to Your plan, You created every man
Just to glorify You and, bless Your name forevermore

Then into the world You came, by the power of Your name
and You washed my sins away, bless Your name forevermore
so I come before your throne, through no goodness of my own
and I worship you alone, bless You name forevermore

I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name forevermore
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name forevermore

choir
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name
forevermore...
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name
I will bless Your name
forevermore................

Finding Faith

2010-11-04T08:54:00.002-05:00

I have been talking to my darling sixth-grade girls about spiritual gifts. We all have them - every single one of us. They are given to us at the moment we ask Jesus Christ to be the Lord of our lives. Sometimes the gifts we are given seem unrelated to our natural talents. I am, by nature, a very shy person. If you met me for the first time, you might be very surprised at how much I keep to myself. I never dreamed that the Lord would allow me to do some of the things He has empowered me to do.

I think some of the most delightful people to be around are those with the gift of faith. My father has this spiritual gift. Unfortunately, spiritual gifts are not genetic. I have to beg God for the ability to see my circumstances through the eyes of faith. I tend to be an Eeyore instead of a Tigger. I tend to see the glass half-empty rather than half-full. I imagine the worst case scenario rather than expecting the best to happen.

The Lord has Rob and me in a situation that DEMANDS faith to be able to traverse the path. We cannot walk with our natural eyes because the path is dark and twisting. Yes, the God's Word is a lamp to that path, but it seems as though the lamp only illuminates the very next step ahead of us. Um...I'd rather have enough light to see about a mile or so down the road. That is not happening and panic is never far away in the shadows.

I always have a great plan for God to rescue me out of my discomfort. I was telling Him for the umpteenth time how wonderful it would be if He changed this or that. In mid-conversation, He stopped me and said, "Shawn, you have asked Me to show Myself to you. You have said you have given all of you to Me. You want the rewards that come from a life lived by faith, but you don't want to have to exercise any faith. The only way to increase your faith in Me right now is for Me to have you walk that path where I only reveal the very next step and nothing more. Can you trust Me?"

"...But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
Mark 9:22-24

Lord, this is the prayer of my heart! I trust You. Help me overcome my unbelief!

I Love You, But I Don't Like You All The Time

2010-10-15T10:43:00.003-05:00

Somehow I see myself in this little boy in my relationship to the Lord. I love Him when He gives me what I want, but how about when He doesn't? Praise His Name that His love for us is unconditional and not fickle like mine can tend to be.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
Psalm 33:22

I AM

2010-10-13T09:09:00.008-05:00

When Moses asked God whom he should say had sent him to deliver the Israelites from their bondage, God replied,

"Tell them I AM has sent you."

So much of life is spent looking back at what once was. I long for days when there was no financial threat, when neighborhoods were one big park where kids could play until dark without adult supervision, and I didn't have to eat so little and exercise so much to maintain my weight.

How thankful I am that God did not call Himself, "I WAS."

So much of life is spent looking at what is to come. Discontent with the present makes me miss out on living today. I add worry lines to my forty-something face because I borrow trouble from tomorrow and project the lie that God's grace will not be sufficient for the days yet unknown to me. I keep looking for the next stage of life because the one I am currently in has too many unanswered questions, restlessness, and impatience over wanting tomorrow today.

How grateful I am that God did not call Himself, "I WILL BE"

but rather

I AM...

...present today with just the right amount of grace you need.

...going to give you your daily bread, but not bread for tomorrow because I long for intimacy with you.

...your Comforter for the pain that is so deep no one else knows about it but you and Me.

...your Redeemer for the shattered pieces of life that you are helpless to put back together.

...your firm Foundation on which you will not be moved.

...your Healer who rises to show you compassion and knows what healing is best for you and My glory.

...going to bind up your broken heart because I bend My ear to your cries.

...your Tear-catcher. I have them all written down in My book and bottled. They are precious to Me.

...your Deliverer. No one can snatch you from My hand that works salvation for you. Not even hell itself.

...there in your past, ordering and ordaining your future, and here right now in your present.

I AM has sent you.

Jesus, may that knowledge be enough!

"I AM" by Nichole Nordeman from her CD "Woven and Spun" (one of my favorites!)

How Do I Amaze Him?

2010-10-08T10:52:00.003-05:00

AMAZE:
1) to wonder, wonder at, marvel
2) to be wondered at, to be had in admiration to wonder; by implication, to admire:-admire, have in
admiration, marvel, wonder.

What was Jesus amazed by? How does one move the heart of the King of angels? There are only two instances in which the gospels tell me that Jesus was amazed by someone's actions.

And no, His amazement did not come over the depth of the person's depravity, neediness, selfishness, or hatred.Jesus did not stand in awe of the baseness of the human heart. He knew men's thoughts and motives. They did not shock Him.

And no, He was not amazed over the show of a person's kindness or the size of his or her monetary gift or help to the poor.

No, Jesus did not stand in wonder or admire human beings for what I stand in wonder and admire in others.

What did amaze Him, what caused Christ to have admiration for one that He created, was a person's display of faith.

Luke 7 tells the story of a Gentile centurion who recognized Jesus' power to heal his sick servant:

When Jesus had finished saying all this in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. There a centurion's servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant. When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, "This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue." So Jesus went with them.

He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel." Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

You and I have the opportunity to amaze Christ today with our level of trust in Him. He stands in wonder when we praise Him for the difficult situation we find ourselves in. He is amazed when we trust His character even when our circumstances give us an excuse to doubt His goodness. He admires our deliberate act of the will to still our soul like a weaned child with her mother before Him when our lives our complete chaos. When we act out of the power of the Holy Spirit to believe that He has not abandoned us, He is amazed by that.

But He also stands in wonder at how we fail to trust. How we forget so easily how much He loves us. How we do not see that the trial we are facing is going to be used by Him to make us more like Himself. He is amazed at our lack of faith in His ability to rescue us, to walk with us through the fire, and to provide streams for us in the desert.

Mark 6:3-6 shows me the danger of amazing Jesus by my lack of faith:

Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.

Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.

My lack of faith reduces Christ to a mere man. It discounts His diety. It denies me the peace that is mine and the healing that comes to my soul when I walk by faith and not by sight.

How am I going to amaze Him today?

Intimacy

2010-10-05T08:14:00.007-05:00

I heard a powerful story this last week about why God does not always answer our prayer requests for provision immediately :

A rabbi was once asked why God did not give the Israelites manna in the desert for more than one day at a time except on the sixth day when they were given enough for the Sabbath. He replied in the form of a parable:

Once there was a king whose son came of age. The king decided to give his son a yearly allowance. But a whole year went by before the king saw his son - until the day that the money was to be given him for another year. Even though he had not visited his father for twelve months, the son showed up on the very day he knew his father would be giving him his money. The king was lonely and longed to see his son everyday, not just once a year. He decided to make some changes. He decided to give his son only enough for each day and watched to see what would happen to their relationship.

An amazing change started happening. The once-absentee son came daily to receive from his father what he needed. The son realized his need for his father's companionship on a daily basis. Their relationship became close, just as the king had wanted.

That’s a picture of me and my heavenly Father, the king of Kings, who knows that I will not be desperate for Him and His provision if my coffers are full to overflowing. If all my relationships are perfect, if my health is vigorous. He knows, in His perfect wisdom and justice, to give me enough for today. Just today. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow’s trouble is for tomorrow. Not today. And He will there tomorrow because He is the King of the universe and the whole earth and everything that is in it is at His disposal. But I will miss the greatest treasure of all if I had a perfect life. I would not know that the Lord my God is with me, that He alone is mighty to save. That today, right now, He takes great delight in my need for Him, that He alone has the ability to quiet me with His love and that He is rejoicing over me with singing!

"...Who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end."
Deuteronomy 8:15-16 (ESV)

The number one goal my God has for me is intimacy with Him. My heart of stone can only be turned into a heart of flesh by meeting with Him daily. My trust will only deepen as I see Him provide for me today. The King of the universe can change my circumstances in a blink of an eye, but developing intimacy with my heavenly Father can only happen through a lifetime of trusting His provision on a day-by-day basis.

So instead of worrying or complaining about my need, I am going to count it all joy that I have the opportunity to see His hand in my situation as I cast my burden on Him today, knowing that He cares for me. I am going to praise Him that He wants intimacy with me-a staggering thought-and that these very circumstances I face that can so terrify me, without the right perspective, are going to bring me closer to Him as I trust His promises to never leave me or forsake me in my trouble. I am going to take Him up on those mercies that He offers me every morning. Great is His faithfulness to me!

What Happened in the Dash?

2010-09-30T09:31:00.004-05:00

My children never knew my maternal grandparents whom I had been very close to growing up. Chase was about five, Jordyn was four and Jenna was two when my mom and I along with my Aunt Gerry took my kids to the cemetery where my grandparents were buried beneath the same headstone. It was a beautiful fall day. The leaves were just beginning to drop and the air had a nip of coolness in it as it brushed our cheeks. Soon after we arrived, I saw my son picking up leaves and putting them around the ledge of the headstone. Not understanding what he was doing and wanting to teach him to be respectful of the gravesite, I chided him a little. He looked up at me in childish innocence and said, "Mommy, I was making a blanket for them. It's a little cold today."

What Chase failed to understand was that my grandparents were not there anymore. Only their shells were buried in the ground, both of which were sick and old and feeble at the time that they left us for heaven. Their bodies had become more like prisons to them toward the end of their lives. Heaven was now their home where sickness does not exist or pain or anything that is not perfect. But Chase, like me, could not fully grasp the miracle of hope where death here on earth means life in the presence of the Lord.

I remember looking at the dates of their births and deaths with the dash in between the numbers. That span represented eight-six years for my grandmother and almost eighty-nine for my grandfather. Those who would come to the cemetery and pass by the headstone would not know what had taken place in those decades of time. They wouldn't know how dear and wonderful those two people had been to their children and grandchildren.

None of us knows how many years the dash will represent for our lives. All of us have a terminal case of mortality. The day we were born began the countdown. But I know that until we have Someone worth dying for, we will never truly start to live. We have one go around here on planet earth. Are we experiencing what Jesus promised to us in John 10:10 or are we merely existing?

"...I have come that they might have life and may have it more abundantly."

If we have put our faith in Jesus Christ, this life will be difficult. Jesus never promised us that it wouldn't be. But we can experience joy that defies our pain, grace instead of bitterness, forgiveness instead of hatred, love instead of indifference. All of us who have accepted Christ's gift of salvation can live a life that only God Himself could have written for us. Or we can choose not to and live miserably until the day we die.

One day, someone might wonder about you and me:

What happened in the dash?

Seasons

2010-09-22T09:01:00.005-05:00

What season are you in right now?

Summer. The days of summer officially ended yesterday. The pools are closed, the children are back in school, the days of sleeping in and staying up late are over. Summer is a time for play. A time when the goodness of God is so apparent because it is so evident and it is ours. Summer is when life comes easily to you and me. I love summer and its carefree pace. But summer cannot stay forever. During its sometimes self-absorbed embrace, we can start to feel entitled. We are lulled into apathy without...

Autumn. Preparing for the cold and barren months ahead. I love the still-warm days and the chilly nights. It's a time for bonfires and football games. It's a time to gather and take an assessment of where we are and what we need. The comfort of a routine spreads itself over us like a blanket. And then there is that amazing time of harvest. Of seeing what we have given our hearts and energy to come to fruition. Autumn is a time of loving what we still have with us. Our sense of the goodness of God is heightened by the knowledge that the bleakness of winter is coming. We try to squeeze out every moment of its beauty with a sense of urgency knowing that we must become dormant during...

Winter. Stark, frigid blasts. It catches us by surprise with its fierceness. Snow-laden branches that crack under the burden thrust upon them. Nothing is like a dazzling sun's reflection on the snow, but there are contrasts everywhere. I cannot stay out in the frigid temperatures that will kill me without protection. Winter forces me to be still and wait. I cannot make anything grow, no matter how hard I try. Winter drags on forever and can almost extinguish hope as one gray day fades into another. The fear that nothing is happening can make this season the most difficult to endure. The memories of summer mock us as we wonder how much longer we can hold on and if God really does care. Surely we would perish in our affliction if not for the first signs of...

Spring. Glorious spring. New buds, the freshness of the earth coming back to life. Green that looks so vivid against the brown of winter. Thankfulness that life is still worth living, that God is as good as He declares Himself to be. Hope rising in our hearts that we have survived and that hope gives us the ability to dare to thrive once again. It's when we see a glimpse of what God was doing when we believed the lie we had been abandoned and forgotten. Excitement and anticipation around every new corner.

John 15:8

This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Whatever the season we find ourselves in, we can bear much fruit, showing ourselves to be disciples of Jesus Christ. Which season are you in, my friend? You are not there by mistake. Praise the One who has made each season with its purpose: for summer's carefree days, autumn's reflectiveness, winter's starkness, and spring's hope.

Membership Has Its Privileges

2010-09-21T14:09:00.005-05:00

My family and I were driving back from a very fun family gathering with the cousins in Illinois. The kids were in the back and Rob and I were enjoying the time we had to talk uninterrupted (yes, those physically demanding toddler years do pass!). We were almost out of Illinois and heading into Kentucky when a brown blur suddenly crossed in front of our rented minivan. Out of the corner of my eye I saw four small pointy hooves flying over the front of the car. A sickening thud had preceded the poor animal's flight. I realized that we had just hit a deer going seventy miles an hour.

We pulled off at the next stop to survey the damage to the car. The grill was cracked as well as the bumper. Thankfully, the van drove as though nothing had happened. I made a quick call to my insurance company. Oh...it was a Sunday afternoon. The woman on the other end said, "My dear, don't worry about a thing. The animal ran in front of the vehicle. I am sure that this will go down as an accident out of your control. Let me see your coverage..."

I waited anxiously as she did a quick check on her computer. I could hear her fingers flying as the time became longer and longer since she had begun the review of my file. After a very long pause, she cleared her throat.

"Ma'am?" [was that pity I heard in her voice?]

"Yes...[hurry up, lady, and tell me why you are speaking to me that way!]"

"Ummm...I am sorry, but you only have liability on your vehicles. It seems they are both almost ten years old...is that right?"

"Yes, that's why we rented this minivan because they are not road worthy enough to be trusted to drive 1000 miles," I replied nervously.

"Well, umm..." she hesitated. "You'll need to talk to your agent tomorrow about what your options are."

My mind flashed back to when had I picked up the car. I had initialed next to several lines on the contract to signify that I had refused to take the offer to have the rental agency cover the vehicle should anything happen. Eighty extra dollars seemed like a lot to pay compared to the odds of ever really needing the coverage the agency offered. Why hadn't I just paid for it?

Visions of thousands of dollars [which, by the way, did not exist in the first place!] being exacted from our bank account filled my head. My thoughts were all in a panic. Lord, we do not have the money! Why didn't You stop that deer?? What are we going to do??

We drove home somberly the remaining 150 miles without hardly saying a word.

The next morning I called the rental car agency trying to formulate how I could plead my case. I told the woman on the phone exactly what had happened in every detail. I must have gone on and on because she suddenly interrupted me.

"Ma'am, hang on a second. I am going to make a phone call. Could you hold?"

After sixty seconds of horrible suspense, she got back on the phone.

"Just bring the minivan in. It's all taken care of."

Dead silence from me.

"Excuse me, I would really like to know how much it is going to cost to get this fixed."

"Nothing. You're covered. The credit card you paid with has given you the coverage. It will cost you nothing."

I stood there stunned, thankfulness oozing out of every pore in my body, as I said thank you and hung up the phone.

The Lord tenderly started speaking to my heart.

"Shawn, before you knew you needed a Savior, the price was already paid. The privilege of being my daughter is that you bring nothing to the table. I have done all the work through my Son, Jesus Christ, to enable you to be part of my family. This, my darling daughter, is an example of My grace. Undeserved, unearned. Belonging to Me has the most profound privileges you will ever experience."

My sisters, we belong to an awesome God. We belong to the One who watches over us so tenderly, who swooped in to pay the unfathomable debt our sin cost Jesus Christ on Calvary's cruel hill that we had no ability to pay.

Where else are we going to find such a Savior? Praise His holy Name!

Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)
Ephesians 2:1, 4-5

Offended by Him

2010-09-20T10:10:00.003-05:00

I realized something profound this summer. I have done my best to push and shove and stomp down the hurt I have felt over some things God has allowed to happen to me. I have been offended by Him. And I would have denied it to the bitter end because of the terrifying collision my upbringing taught me to trust in Him had with my scabbed over heart.

The Psalms and the prophet Jeremiah have just leapt off the page of Scripture to me during the last several months. I have been astounded by the way God let some of the writers of Scripture talk to Him. Take Jeremiah for instance:

1 I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of his wrath.

2 He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;

3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.

4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
and has broken my bones.

5 He has besieged me and surrounded me
with bitterness and hardship.

6 He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.

7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
he has weighed me down with chains.

8 Even when I call out or cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer.

9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
he has made my paths crooked.
Lamentations 3:1-9

And who is the He being accused of these things in these verses? God Himself. Jeremiah was no rookie at this point. He pleaded with Judah for forty years to return to God. Jeremiah was mocked, beaten, and thrown into a cistern as a result of being obedient to God. And God recorded Jeremiah's lament, his broken heart and unanswered questions, because He is big enough to take them. God never once second-guesses Himself. He is never stabbed with remorse over something He did for our good that we cannot understand. He is the all-wise, all sufficient, self-existent One who is beyond searching out.

And I thought that because my feelings were "bad" and unspiritual, I could hide them from the Lord - the One who knows every thought and word of mine before I think or say it. So I walked around with a pouty spirit, like a child who had been overlooked by a parent playing favorites. I read this today in Matthew 13:57-58:

And they took offense at him.
But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."

And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

Not openly admitting my offense over what the Lord has allowed to happen to me directly affects my ability to see Him work in my situation. I need to just cry it out. To tell Him from the depths of my soul where I am offended. He gives me the right to come before His throne of grace in my time of need. But sometimes I would much rather sit and sulk and walk around with a chip on my shoulder than receive healing. I would rather continue my misguided judgment of Him letting me down than to acknowledge to Him that I am having to trouble understanding what He is doing. Sometimes I just want to remain sick rather than to be healed.

How grateful I am that His love is unconditional, that He is close to the brokenhearted, the weak, the sick. But I will miss out on knowing that love, knowing His presence, knowing His strength and knowing His healing if I continue to not admit my disappointment and hurt. He's my Abba. He's my Daddy - the One who knows what broke my heart and what will heal it.

I must let Him.

The Rock I Cling To

2010-09-17T08:59:00.004-05:00

I have been reminded this week of a very painful truth that I can conveniently push to the back of my mind most of the time: Life is a fragile vapor. One of my dear friends, Elaine, was hit by a drunk driver on Monday. She suffered internal injuries, the worst being a broken spine in two places. I did not find out until the day after the accident and cannot stop thinking about her and the new life she will now live as a result of a situation she could not control.

There are times when nothing comforts me, when life is so difficult that I cannot wrap my brain around it. When all my soul can do is cry even when my eyes are dry. I do not know what people do without Jesus Christ in those situations. To not understand that my God has a purpose for everything would be the most helpless, hopeless feeing I could imagine. I could not survive the questions that are left unanswered by anything this world tries to offer as an explanation.

Scripture says that the Word of God is a breathing entity. I used to puzzle over that. How could a book breathe? But as I have sat down and read those ancient words, the spirit of heaviness has been lifted from me as God the Holy Spirit breathes new life into my crushed heart. Something miraculous happens when I trust, by faith, that the words I am reading are the truth. My circumstances do not always change immediately, but my perspective on them does instantaneously when I accept those words as truth. Hope is the one thing that I need during the crisis and that is what Scripture gives to me over and over again.

Psalm 62:6-8 (New International Version)
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.  

Psalm 89:8-9 (New International Version)
8 O LORD God Almighty, who is like you?  You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.
9 You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them.

Psalm 147:4-6 (New International Version)
4 He determines the number of the stars  and calls them each by name.
5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.

My responsibility is to cling to the Rock that is higher than me. I don't have to be the rock; He is the Rock - the immovable, unchangeable, completely faithful Rock that has the power to bring all things into conformity to His will. Nothing that happens to me or those I love gets past Him. Nothing. And although I cannot begin to see how the situation will bring Him glory if He has allowed it, my Redeemer does.

Life is but a vapor. But life that is real life is just ahead on the other side of eternity when I will see Him face to face and all the questions will be answered. On that day, I will be able to say with my whole heart:

"He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he." Deuteronomy 32:4

Chosen

2010-09-13T09:37:00.002-05:00

My spiritual life until age thirty was downright boring.

I grew up with parents sold out to Christ and His kingdom, but I was merely a bystander watching them using their gifts, convinced that I truly had none of my own. And so each Sunday would roll around. I would dutifully sit in my pew, sing the songs as a member of the congregation, open my Bible during the sermon, and try to suppress the restlessness I felt that there had to be more to this life with Jesus than I was currently experiencing. I just didn't know how to make that happen.

I did not grasp a fundamental principle that turned my life upside down for the better once its truth started to slowly permeate my thinking:

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.
John 15:16

The plan is already in place. The empowering is already there. The purpose has already been determined. I didn't suddenly choose Christ and He needed to figure out where to put me. No. He chose me. And He didn't choose me for some mundane task that will not amount to much of anything. He has given me the privilege of being involved in bearing fruit that is eternal. More than that, when I am confused about the plan, overwhelmed in my weakness to fulfill it, and feeling purposeless, I can ask my heavenly Father to realign my thoughts with His own. I have been promised that when I pray in the mighty Name of Jesus, I will have my request!

I was sharing with my beautiful sixth grade young women yesterday that not understanding that we have been chosen will result in wasted lives.

"Don't miss it, my darling girls. So many women have. You need to understand that Jesus has a purpose for each of your lives that will blow your mind if you understand that He has already chosen you specifically, gifted you, and empowered you with His Holy Spirit to carry it out."

There is no such person as a waste. A forgotten, looked-over, left-out reject. But there are plenty of us who will never understand the truth that we have been chosen. That we were loved before we even knew Who loved us. We can miss the whole purpose for which we were born, believing the lie that we are just supposed to get through this life and then we die. How horrible to live like that when the abundant life awaits every single person who puts his or her faith in Jesus Christ and makes Him Lord.

The pressure is off! Are we asking diligently, desperately, "Lord, speak, for your servant is listening," or are we just hoping we will stumble on the plan? It's time to stop trying so hard by manipulating others and circumstances in order to feel fulfilled. There is a life unimaginable out there for those who will understand they are chosen.

Chicago

2010-09-07T12:49:00.002-05:00

Please pray for my beloved as she will be in Chicago this week, speaking at a conference and meeting with area women's ministry leaders.

Pray that the Lord would bless her words that she may bless those she encounters and that the Body of Christ would be strengthened.

Thank you so much for your support of her ministry!

Your brother in Christ, Rob

When Expectations and Reality Collide in Ministry

2010-09-03T12:23:00.003-05:00

Visions of the great adventure awaiting me danced through my head. I couldn’t wait to see what was on the other side of the airplane door. We had just landed at Njili airport in Zaire, Africa. I was ten years old.

The “fasten seatbelt” sign went off and the adults around me got up from their seats. I stayed put until the signal from my parents that it was okay to move around the cabin. Carrying my winter coat in one arm, I grabbed my duffel bag in the other as we headed toward the front of the jet. The closer I got to the exit of the plane, the more I experienced the sweltering heat of the foreign country in which I was supposed to learn to call home.

The dazzling rays of the tropical sun blazing above us cast a vaporous sheen on the far away palm trees lining the tarmac. I blinked against its intensity and gulped my disappointment at the barrenness and the decrepit conditions of the buildings. What was once new had long since melted into the obscurity of old age. The luxury of resiliency and denial afforded to me as a child allowed me to square my shoulders and walk toward the chaos of the terminal, hoping all the way that the sights that had greeted me in these first few minutes were not indicators of what my new life was to be.

Rarely do our expectations and our reality mesh well. Usually, they collide with such force that they make us do a double take of our surroundings. The confusion that is left in the wake of the collision makes us chide ourselves at getting our hopes up yet again. It stirs in us the ache of past disappointments and can leave us swimming in the quagmire of dashed hopes.

I have searched many times for someone ahead of me on the journey of ministry to tell me that there are more falls in the beginning than there are soarings. Thankfully, I have found a brave few who have revealed the not-so-glamourous side of ministry. They have become some of my best encouragers as they have openly shared about the yawning mouth of doubt that lies just below the ledge of discouragement.

But I wish there were more who would share that there are more tears than cheers, more white-knuckle moments than not. That there are more bruised knees and torn off scabs than there are effortless sprints toward the goal. And that these occurences are not necessarily a reflection of God withholding His blessing. But instead it is the agonizing process of being called a legitimate child with the privilege of representing the Name above all names. Rejection, misunderstanding, desperation, doubt, feelings of inadequacy and walking in the dark are the scalpels and chisels that are used to chip away at this heart of stone to make it pulsate with the passion to proclaim the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. But these “friends” are never embraced as friends at the first, second or hundredth introduction. They are seen as identifiers of me and can cripple me without the understanding of their presence in my life.

I am going to say it here: Ministry is supremely difficult. It must be a calling or the crushing that comes with it can snuff the life right out of the one called. I wish more women farther along on the journey with Jesus would share the early days of heartbreak and tears so that those of us behind them would be encouraged to keep going. Perfection does not exist in ministry and the misconception that it does only discourages.

How thankful I am that Jesus is called a Man of Sorrows. How wonderful to know that although He was fully God, He embraced the sufferings of ministry, its disappointments, its rejections, and its tears. His life was full of the supernatural as well as the sufferings of being fully human. I could not relate to Him otherwise. This passage blows me away every time I read it as I try to grasp its full meaning:

During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him... Hebrews 5:7-9

And because He embraced the suffering, His power enables me to keep going. And when He does allow a mountain top experience with a glimpse of His glory, I know that there is no other life for me.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-08-30T10:43:00.005-05:00

"Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have ordained strength,
Because of Your enemies,
That You may silence the enemy and the avenger." Psalm 8:2

I was flying 30,000 feet in the air on a way to speak to a group of women in Texas. I felt dry, empty, and terrified about what I could possibly offer to anyone because my life felt upside down. My prayers seemed to only be reaching the ceiling and crashing down around me.

I was feeling guilty about leaving my children and the preoccupation I had let overtake me in the weeks leading up to my going away trying to prepare for the retreat. There is no greater area that I am accused in by the enemy than my mothering. He has used every possible angle on me and can destroy my day if I do not hold up my shield of faith against the fiery darts of his accusations against me. Sitting in my seat on a packed plane, I felt like a complete loser. I was reviewing conversations in which I had been too busy to really listen, had been impatient, or had lost control. Several minutes into the condemnation, I was feeling thoroughly defeated and completely incompetent for the weekend ahead.

I managed to hold back the tears - barely. If those women only knew me, they would have never asked me to come, my heart sobbed.

I plugged my ear phones into my phone to go over my notes one more time when I noticed there was a new voice memo that I had not listened to before. Puzzled, I hit play and heard the voice of one of my children in my ears,

"Hey Mom, it's me. I just wanted to say that you are the best mom in the world. I could never dream of having a better mom. I'm in my room right now recording this and you'll probably stumble on this sometime...but I just wanted to say a few things...You take care of me so well and I feel like our relationship is getting bigger and bigger and I am very happy because I have always wanted a good relationship with my mom. I am so happy to have a great mom. I don't know how I would ever be as good a mom as you, but I guess I'll try [one day]."

I was sobbing like a baby and didn't care. The encouragement I needed came from the the mouth of my own daughter. It infused me with strength and silenced the voice of the accuser in my head.

No woman is the perfect mom, daughter, employee, friend, wife, sister, student, fiancee, or ministry partner all the time. And we can become so obsessed with seeking that perfection which doesn't exist that we become full of despair and get out of the game. It doesn't mean that we can live our lives recklessly or not examine our hearts before God in those areas. But there is a great difference between condemnation and conviction. Condemnation discourages, brings shame, and is not of God. Conviction encourages, brings repentance, and is God's way of correcting us when we stray. Condemnation brings death. Conviction brings hope and understanding. Thank God He knows that we are but dust and His compassion and mercies are new every morning. Have we forgotten what He remembers about us?

My sweet sisters, our God is bigger than our mistakes. I believe, in His mercy, His glory supersedes our imperfections if we beg Him to allow that to happen. No one is deserving to do anything for Him. He cannot use perfect people because they do not exist. I have to remind myself that brokenness is what He is irresistibly drawn to. Weakness is exactly what He delights in because He then has no competition for His glory. And when we are feeling the most despondent and cry out to Him, He will speak directly to our souls in a way that only He could to lift us out of the pit of despair and remind us of the firm Rock on which we stand.

A Letter From Your Little Girl

2010-08-26T13:58:00.003-05:00

Dear Dad,

I wanted to thank you for being the kind of man that I could adore. Today is not a special day. It is not Father's Day or your birthday. But the older we both become, the more I realize that I will not have as many opportunities to tell you how much I love you.

There are many things I will remember about you until Jesus comes back or my earthly life comes to end. I will not forget the delight in your eyes when you saw me walk into the room. I will not forget the comfort of your arms or your ability to calm me with your prayers. I will not forget the way you say, "Jesus, Jesus" reverently under your breath without even realizing that you are calling on His Name during the day.

I'll remember the Timex watch you gave me when I was seven and how important you made me feel as I opened that black velvet box. I won't forget how you loved me through pimples, weight gain, braces, and the awkward years of adolescence. You told me frequently that I was so beautiful I could win the Miss America pageant. I didn't believe you, but I loved hearing you say it even as I rolled my eyes. You were the one man I knew who thought I hung the moon even when others treated me as though I was invisible.

One of the biggest lessons you have taught me is that Jesus is the Redeemer. You have been the only living person of your immediate family for over thirty years since Grandma died in your late thirties. You lost your own dad when you were eleven and two brothers who never lived to adulthood. You have never let yourself become bitter. Instead of running from love, you have loved your own children with all your heart. I always knew, even though I was hundreds of miles away from you, that you would drop everything to come be with me if I called you.

You have lived a life of integrity before me. By God's grace, you and Mom have been faithful to each other for 46 years. The two of you have so become one person that I don't know where you end and she begins. I want that with Rob and me. You are a team. Thank you for loving my mother so well. And thank you for showing me what I wanted in my own marriage - that it was okay to be picky, to wait, and to, most of all, marry a godly man.

Thank you for being fun. Thanks for spoiling me, for being extravagant with gifts just because. For going the extra mile to serve me. Thanks for all our special dates when you would treat me to a restaurant meal and ask me what was going on in my heart.

Most of all, thank you for making Jesus the center of our home. Thank you for your passionate love for God's Word, for giving it the highest authority in our home, and for teaching us children its truths through your life. Most of the greatest spiritual lessons are caught rather than taught. Your life has undeniably been ruled by your Master. And we are all the beneficiaries for that.

I love you, Daddy. What a legacy you have left to me. May I follow as hard after Jesus as you always have. And you're right: I always will be your little girl, even if I live to be ninety!

All my love,

Shawnee

The Hard Side of Love

2010-08-25T08:37:00.004-05:00

"Honey, do you know why momma is going to have to discipline you?" I asked my three-year-old daughter.

With a quivering lower lip and big eyes filled with tears she replied, "Yes, Momma, because you wuv me."

The look in her eyes gave away the fact that she was parroting what she had heard me say to her in explanation in our previous hand-to-bottom sessions. She was trying to reconcile my love for her and the pain that would soon be inflicted on her by me.

Tears filled my eyes as I did what I believe the Bible clearly tells me is my responsibility as a parent. It gave me no joy.

Afterwards, I took my sweet baby in my arms as we cuddled together. As she wept on my shoulder, I explained,

"Boo, if Momma let you do whatever you wanted to and disobey her, you could be hurt very badly. You don't understand why I am asking you not to do what got you into trouble, but one day I pray that you will. And then you will see that Momma disciplined you because she loves you so very much. I want the best for you. You were going down the wrong path and I had to do something about that."

She wrapped her arms around me and was quiet for a moment.

Then she looked up at me with a mischievous glint in her eye and said, "But, Momma, God's spanks are way harder than yours, right?"

She nailed it. I nodded in agreement.

I can rail against the discipline of my heavenly Father and become bitter in the process. I can be so short-sighted as I race along a path full of destruction that I am oblivious to. If my God didn't love me, He would not pull me off that path, but just let me do as I pleased.

I have a choice to accept His discipline and believe it is to benefit me and thank Him for His protection. Or I can rebel and begrudge Him the hard side of His everlasting love for me. Love is not a feeling. It is a decision to always protect what is best for the object of its devotion.

Before I had children, I believed they were given to parents to be taught. While that is true, I have been taught far more about the great heart of my God as my Father through my three babies. I have come to understand that He will not willingly be a part of my destruction any more than I would be to my children. The difference between Him and me is that He the perfect Parent who never makes the wrong decision. Discipline and chastisement are every bit a part of love as the warm fuzzy feelings are. I have to learn to thank Him for both sides of His love.

And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.
For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?
Hebrews 12:5-7 (NLT)

Security

2010-08-24T14:13:00.007-05:00

"The Lord is my chosen and assigned portion, my cup; You hold and maintain my lot."
Psalm 16:5 (Amplified Bible)

One of the saddest realizations I had during the writing of my bible study, Living With Unmet Desires, was that Saul had everything he needed to rule over Israel, but lost the kingdom, the respect of his family, and ultimately took his own life because of his rabid jealousy of an enemy that only existed in his mind. The more insecure he became about David, the one who would succeed him as king, the more he falsely believed he had to jockey for position. Whenever we have to sin in order to hold on to something or someone, we are never in more danger of losing it or that person. God does not honor us stepping all over people to get what we want.

I am learning some painful lessons about submitting to someone I do not want to. My sinful side wants to rush to protect what I perceive as mine. God is asking me to loosen my grip and to trust that He is my security, not what I am trying so hard to hold on to. Some of the deepest work that God has ever done in my life has come from learning to submit to people I don't want to submit to. It is in the submission that I see the ugly ulterior motives, the selfishness, the lack of humility, and entitlement in me that cannot coincide in this heart that I say belongs to Christ.

It is easy to think that the person I am struggling with happened by chance in my life. That I am to just grit my teeth and say, "This too shall pass...eventually." By doing that, I could miss out on a life-changing encounter with the One who ordained the difficult circumstance I am in. I am realizing that by not submitting to God's plan in my situation, I could forfeit the grace that could be mine if I would just let go and let Him be in charge. I shudder at the thought of losing the blessing and protection of God because I want to be rebellious.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21

So that difficult boss, spouse, partner in ministry, child, ex-husband or wife, parent or parent-in-law, friend could be the very one who teaches us what is so hard for our minds to comprehend: Jesus is it. He's everything. He alone is our security. Everything else is just built on sinking sand.

That's His Heart

2010-08-23T08:38:00.002-05:00

What is the heart of God like?

* He leaves the ninety-nine to go find the one that's lost.

* He runs to the weary, wayward child who wants to come home.

* He bottles every tear we cry and writes them down in His book.

* He gives no condemnation in exchange for the confession of the blackest sin.

* He is the Way Maker when there seems to be no way.

* He is the Father continually looking out for His own.

* He is not willing that any should perish without knowing His salvation.

* He rises to show compassion and longs to be gracious to us.

* He is unimpressed by fame, fortune, education, and worldly titles.

* He is incapable of prejudice, racism, or unfair judgment.

* He can do no evil.

* He is a disciplinarian for the ultimate welfare of His children.

* His love can never be quenched or diminished based on the behavior or deeds of those He loves.

* He is self-sufficient, all-mighty, all knowing, ever-present, all wise.

* He has no darkness in His person, nothing malicious, and all of His decisions are just.

* He is faithful and true and will never betray.

* He cannot lie nor can He fail to keep His promises.

* He is a covenant keeper.

* He is the redeemer of harm and abuse.

* He is lavish in His generosity.

* He delights in His own and sings over them.

* He hates sin.

* He is eternal.

* He will never leave or forsake us.

* He knows our every thought, every word, and every action and loves us in spite of them.

* He saves us by the power of the death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ, and not by our own goodness or strength.

* He is the conqueror of death and the grave.

I constantly need to be reminded of who He is. I have such limited knowledge of Him, but one day I will know Him fully even as I am fully known.

The Burden Carrier

2010-08-20T08:11:00.003-05:00

Do you and I have a burden that we have carried for a long time?

A sick loved one

A loveless marriage

Another year as a single person when marriage is strongly desired

A dead-end job

Financial worries

A child who has rebelled

Continual conflict with co-workers

The threat of foreclosure

Depression

Anger

Bitterness

Unforgiveness

Raising children alone as a single parent

Unresolved issues with family members or close friends

Loss of a reputation/good name

The weight of carrying these burdens alone is enough to convince us that there is no hope for us. We can start believing the lie that no one understands our situation or truly cares. That we have to do, be, and survive all by ourselves.

A verse I included in yesterday's post was one I had never read before. I must have read it before because I have read through the Psalms many times. But it struck my soul as though I had never gazed on its truth before:

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens. Psalm 68:19

If the Lord daily bears my burden, then that means I don't have to carry it. I don't need to pick it up every waking moment because He already has. What I need to do is give it to Him and praise Him for His mighty, right arm that works wonders for me. I too often believe the lie that I am not doing anything if I am not trying to figure out how to solve my dilemma.

Do not fret - it only leads to evil. (Psalm 37:8)

What a relief that I don't have to try to figure it all out. My responsibility is to be still and ask the Lord to enable me to understand and believe that He is carrying my burden for me today so that I can be free to trust Him as He works out His salvation in what troubles me most.

20 Minutes to a New Perspective

2010-08-19T07:26:00.005-05:00

This summer has been a faith-stretching time for me. I have had several disappointments which have made me wrestle with the Lord over what I know in my head to be true and what my heart is struggling to believe to be true. I have not done well with fear this summer. It has threatened to overwhelm me. Instead of living in the present, I have lived several months or years into the future and have failed to believe that God's grace will be enough for then. I have woken up with fear making itself comfortable in the pit of my stomach although I have begged it to go away.

There is only one remedy for faith's faltering and fear's stubbornness and that is the power of praise. I heard a radio program this summer that suggested that when I am overwhelmed with fear or a spirit of heaviness to praise the Lord for 20 minutes. A thankful heart and a bitter or fearful heart cannot reside in the same place. Fear has to flee. I decided to give the suggestion a try on an especially difficult day when the lie that God had abandoned me had gripped me fiercely.

It was pitiful that I did not exactly know how to start to praise. So I thanked God for breath in my lungs, for the ability to see and hear, for food in the refrigerator. For healthy children and a husband who provides for us. For a comfortable home and a car that runs. Something started happening. The Holy Spirit started to speak to my heaviness as I praised Him for His power. By the end of the twenty minutes, I had been revived. Had my circumstances changed? No. But my perspective had.

I love being around someone who takes the time to tell me what they appreciate about me. I am made in the image of God Himself, who loves to be praised. He inclines His ear to hear praises coming from my lips. When I praise Him, He ministers to my deepest need, like a loving father comforting his frightened child.

The power of praise unlocks the door to the prison of fear! Praise gives me renewed hope, realigned perspective, and a haven of calm in the midst of the storm. Praise gets my eyes off of me and my inability to change my situation and refocuses them on the One who has the answers to my every problem.

Twenty minutes of concentrated praise is more effective than 20 hours of complaining to my co-workers, my husband, or my friends. It brings me into the very throne room of God and allows me to see how well taken care of I am by the One who knows the very number of hairs on my head.

Psalm 103:1-5

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 68:19

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

Psalm 64:10

Let the righteous rejoice in the LORD and take refuge in him; let all the upright in heart praise him!

Psalm 86:12

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.

What Will They Remember?

2010-08-18T09:06:00.003-05:00

From the time I could pick up a doll, I have wanted to be a mother. I used to fill up pages in my notebook with the future names of my children. I would daydream about their hair color, their abilities, and what we would do together. In my mind's eye, there would be no hard days. I would always have time for my children, never have a day in which I lacked patience, and would always be able to help them with any problem they faced. More than anything, my kids would never doubt that I loved them.

Reality and fantasy have collided in the thirteen years since I held my firstborn in my arms. Motherhood has been the most challenging, most revealing, most difficult task I have ever been called to. Yes, I will use the word called. Because there are days that its demands are so overwhelming that I want to go hide somewhere. On my own, I falter, I yell too much, and I come up far short of my own standard of perfection in being a mom. Some days I wonder if I am the right person for the job.

I have been reevaluating my life with my kids. The Lord is challenging me to take a hard look at my priorities.

Will my children remember hearing, "We can trust Jesus with everything," but see me frantic, worried, and pre-occupied because of a lack of trust?

Will my children remember hearing, "Jesus wants us to obey Him," but see me refusing to forgive or fight having idols in my own life?

Will my children remember hearing, "Jesus wants us to give to others," but see me stingy with my time and being selfish with money or resources that God has given me?

Will my children remember hearing, "The Bible is the inerrant Word of God," but see me only follow the parts that suit me?

Will my children remember hearing, "You are so important to me," but see me drop everything to pick up my cell phone when it rings and let that conversation consume my time?

Will my children remember busyness, bustling, and always being in a hurry and not have a clue what resting means because they did not see it modeled in my life?

Will my children remember that I love their daddy with all my heart? Will my son look for qualities that I display in the woman he one day chooses to be his wife?

Will my children one day be able to say, "Jesus loves me this I know because my mommy showed me so?"

Any accomplishment I achieve in this life will pale in comparison to the knowledge that my three children are walking with the Lord in part because of my example. This is my greatest desire as a mother.

12 Reasons I Am Crazy About Him

2010-08-12T10:09:00.002-05:00

I had such a skewed view of who God was during my college and young adult years. Because I was involved in some things I was deeply ashamed over, I became afraid of Him. I just knew He was waiting to zap me, that He could never use me, and that I would never be able to conquer the sickening cycles of sin that I was involved in. I seemed trapped. I would cry tears of remorse, but not be able to stop myself from returning to sinful patterns. I had become convinced that I would always be that way - never a victor, always the victim of my foolish choices.

HOW WRONG I WAS!

I was thinking today of why I love Jesus Christ so much - of what He offers me that I cannot find in any other human being. I am absolutely stunned by Him and how He has changed me from the inside out. Here are twelve huge truths that He has personally revealed to me that make me want to devote my life to Him:

Jesus is thrilled to spend time with me everyday, anytime.

Jesus does not run away from my neediness, but relishes me giving it to Him.

Jesus not only forgives me; He does not remember my sin against me.

Jesus always knows the BEST way and the BEST answer to any problem I face.

Jesus redeems what was meant to harm me to give my life a purpose and a ministry to others.

Jesus owns the earth and all that is in it. He will provide for me.

Jesus bottles my tears and writes each one down. He fully understands the reason for my tears even when I do not.

Jesus favors no one; yet everyone (including me) is His very favorite.

Jesus sees me in the dark. I am never invisible to Him.

Jesus will never leave me. He will never tell me that our relationship is over.

Jesus is enthralled with me. He doesn't just like me, He is crazy about me.

Jesus could not imagine heaven without me, so He died and rose again to provide a way for me to be with Him forever.

And that's why I am crazy about Jesus Christ.

He Has the Right - That's Why

2010-08-11T06:00:00.001-05:00

God has the right to do whatever He wants with me...or not.

Something is slowly dawning on me. I am in the process of head knowledge becoming heart knowledge. That process is long and tedious and is something I have been coming to realize in bits and pieces over the last three or four years.

I am reading through the greatest revolutionary tool of my spiritual life for the 12th time - the One Year Chronological Bible by Tyndale. This Bible lays out Scripture as though it were a story. It has increased my understanding of Scripture as it unfolded like nothing else. I happen to be in the book of Jeremiah right now.

Jeremiah had the most unenviable task of prophesying to deaf ears that judgment was coming. He was beaten, thrown into a cistern, and died after seeing his beloved countrymen taken into exile. What was his reward? A scarred body, a broken heart, and a life unworthy to be remembered by earth's standards. He was mocked and scorned throughout his entire ministry. He even wanted God to take his life because he was so lonely and miserable.

Daniel of the famed lions' den lived not long after Jeremiah. He was exiled from his homeland, but he enjoyed the praise of the foreign kings under whom he served. He was vindicated. He saw the hearts of the most powerful men on earth turn to believe in the one true God, Jehovah. And he was rescued from the jaws of the lions in a most powerful display that God's blessing and favor were with him.

Jeremiah never was vindicated. He was never exalted. Scripture does not even make it clear where he died.

Was God unfair to Jeremiah because he lived and died and no one ever recognized his value? If God is the Creator of both men, He has the right to use both Jeremiah and Daniel for his own purposes. And what may seem unfair cannot be judged by anyone but Him.

There will be some of us who will go to our graves never having achieved a "big" ministry. Perhaps our gifts are those which serve behind the scenes. We will never get the recognition that others do who have more public gifts even though we have been asked to be faithful where we are. Some of us will constantly have to be on our knees for God to supply the resources that are impossibly short. Some of us will have to wait for eternity to judge our work because it will go unnoticed by most.

I forget that earth is just a lay-over, a stopping place, a dress rehearsal for the real story of heaven to begin. I cannot begin to fathom why God chooses to use His children in the ways that He does. I can drive myself crazy, become unbelievably bitter, and completely miss out finding out the real reason why I was created - to bring Him the greatest glory by living in the abundant life He promised is mine. I can't get tripped up on how my abundant life may look different than I thought it would. It will do me a world of harm to compare myself to someone else - to try to be someone I am not.

It is slowly dawning on me...God owes me no explanation whatsoever. The real truth is that I deserve hell. It is only through His mercy through the salvation offered by Jesus Christ that I am not getting what I deserve. Any way that He uses me is a privilege. I can fritter my years on earth away longing for someone else's position, ability, talent or creativity. Or I can rest knowing that the individual plan He has for me is the truest pathway to fulfillment and lasting joy. And in resting there, I can leave behind all the "what if's" and "if only's" and serve Him with my whole heart.

He has the right - that's why.

A Raging Fire

2010-08-09T09:20:00.005-05:00

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
James 3:5-6 (NIV)

Scripture says that our mouths tell on us constantly. The tongue is a sure gauge of our level of insecurity and discontentment. I have had two vivid examples of that this week. One was in a forum in which some individuals used their tongues to voice mean-spirited, discouraging, and disparaging comments over a matter we were asked to give input to. I am for everyone having the freedom to disagree with one another, but it has to be done in a spirit of love and compassion. Not with the attitude of "I win, you lose." No one wins that way. We can say how we see a matter if we are careful that our words are clothed in compassion and kindness. I have found it so helpful to run my motives for pointing out another's faults through the grid of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Is that my motive when I open my mouth in confrontation to someone else? Or do I have an agenda to wound, to hurt, to be rude, and self-seeking? If that is true, I NEED TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT! We seldom understand the great harm Satan does through our words, even if we feel we have every right to say them. And always, I must ask myself, How would I want someone else to confront me? I know I want to walk away feeling respected. Rebuke has its place, but we must be so careful that we always remember that we, too, have blind spots.

Yesterday, my son received an unprovoked, mean comment from a younger child who had no reason to say anything to him except to get attention. I can hardly think of a more dangerous way for the enemy to come against someone who is already discouraged than to hear more discouragement from a random source. Because there was no history between Chase and this person, he faced the decision to believe that the words must somehow be true (thinking that a stranger wouldn't make a rude comment to him unless there was a reason to do it) or to become bitter and not want to serve this person in the future. We had a discussion about this around the table. One of the most incredible verses I came across writing Living With Unmet Desires is from Psalm 140:5:

Proud men have hidden a snare for me; they have spread out the cords of their net and have set traps for me along my path.

A net has been laid down by the enemy and our unanswered hurts caused by the tongues of others. This net has the power to trap us in resentment, anger, and discouragement. We must be so careful to encourage someone, not be one who spreads a trap of discouragement with our tongues. The question I must ask myself today is am I going to control the raging fire that my tongue can so easily start or let it burn others in my pursuit to be right or have the last word?

Jesus, help me! My tongue is the barometer of my desire to obey You. Please keep me from burning others with its deadly fire.

Bread Baking Messes

2010-08-06T09:45:00.006-05:00

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8 (NIV)

Yesterday my almost ten-year-old daughter asked me, "Mom, have you ever made bread?"

I laughed at out loud at the memory that question evoked. My sister was Jenna's age and my older daughter was my age (12) when we decided to open our own bakery in the bush of Congo. Our family would take vacations in the capital city of Kinshasa and to make a little spending money, Nicol and I came up with the idea of baking bread to sell on the mission station.

We would drag out the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and yeast. Pretty soon the entire dining room table looked like someone had spread talcum powder all over it. Getting the bread to rise was the trickiest part and, frankly, our loaves were more like bricks. In our defense, we had to cook the bread in our wood stove. It was difficult to get the temperature just right. Usually the bread was either under or overcooked. I don't know how she bit her tongue with our pantry supplies so scarce at times, but my mother let us bake away and never complained about the mess we had made. She encouraged our ambition and perhaps saw something in us that we did not.

My mother saw potential, not the almost daily failures we experienced. She chose not to quench the excitement in our eyes or the desire we had to accomplish something new. I never remember her throwing up her hands over the waste we had made of the flour. Instead, she encouraged us to continue.

We did not lack for customers, even though our bread was so awful. Nicol and I were thrilled with the money we had made during our three-month venture as bakers. The fascination eventually wore off and we were on to something else. But I am so glad my mom let us have that experience.

How thankful I am that my heavenly Father doesn't focus on all our shortcomings and failures. Mine have been more than I could possibly recount. His love for us is unconditional. He continues to lend support even when He knows that the outcome is going to be less than perfect. What He loves is a heart that is fully committed to Him and continues to try, despite the real possibility that we will fall down, make mistakes, and mess up big time. God sees the potential. What would happen if I started seeing others the way He does?

Thank You, Jesus, that You loved us even before we knew who You were. Thank You that You see the potential and continue the good work You began in each one who calls on Your name for salvation even when we mess up.

Favorite Quotes from Oswald Chambers

2010-08-04T08:36:00.003-05:00

Many of us have read Oswald Chambers book, My Utmost For His Highest. Here are some of my favorite quotes that I go back to for perspective:

"Prayer does not fit us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work."

"Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is."

"It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God: but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes."

"Doubt is not always a sign that a man is wrong; it may be a sign that he is thinking."

"At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him...Watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut. Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet...When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light."

"If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart."

"The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance."

"There are certain things we must not pray about - moods, for instance. Moods never go by praying, moods go by kicking."

"Beware of any work for God that causes or allows you to avoid concentrating on Him. A great number of Christian workers worship their work. The only concern of Christian workers should be their concentration on God. This will mean that all the other boundaries of life, whether they are mental, moral, or spiritual limits, are completely free with the freedom God gives His child; that is, a worshiping child, not a wayward one. A worker who lacks this serious controlling emphasis of concentration on God is apt to become overly burdened by his work. He is a slave to his own limits, having no freedom of his body, mind, or spirit. Consequently, he becomes burned out and defeated. There is no freedom and no delight in life at all. His nerves, mind, and heart are so overwhelmed that God’s blessing cannot rest on him."

Ditching the Training Wheels

2010-08-03T08:11:00.014-05:00

"All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
Philippians 3:15-16 (NIV)

I couldn't remember a time when I was more excited in my eight years of living. I had received my purple bike with its flower covered banana seat and its high-winged handle bars with the daisy basket on the front a few months earlier. I loved to run to the garage after school and ride my bike up and down the street in front of our house. I would challenge myself to go faster and faster each time. I loved to feel the wind in my hair and face and to imagine I could out pedal anyone who raced me.

But today, something monumental was going to happen. I was going to get...my training wheels off!

My best friend lived about a quarter mile down my street. To my eight-year-old perspective, riding that distance was like riding to the next state - a real accomplishment. I told my dad I could do it all by myself. He asked me if I was sure.

"Daddy, I am positive! I can do it!"

I made it to Leslie's house, but to my crushing disappointment, she wasn't home to share in my excitement. As I turned around in her driveway to go back home, I eyed the hill leading down to the entrance of our subdivision.

I am sure I can make it. And I'll be able to tell Daddy what I did! He'll be so proud of me!

I felt a slight pull of fear at the size of the hill, but quickly brushed it aside. My lack of experience in riding didn't deter me for more than a few seconds. I turned my flower power banana bike toward the downward slope and felt the exhilaration of the flutter in my stomach at the speed I was experiencing.

And before I knew it...my chin and the pavement met with a tremendous crash.

Dazed and bleeding, I lay there for a moment trying to figure out what had happened. And then the sobs came fast and furious as I realized my daddy was far away. He knew nothing of what had happened to me.

Too afraid to climb back on my bike, I pushed it home the quarter mile, crying all the way. As I pushed, I told myself I would never get on again. I was going to put my bike in the garage and leave it in the corner for good. After reconsidering that drastic scenario, I thought that if I was ever foolish enough to ride my bike again, I would definitely need to have those training wheels put back on.

My parents were hosting company as I walked into the living room, sobbing anew because I wanted the comfort of their arms and the horror toward my pain to register in their eyes as they saw me. I was not disappointed. All the adults came rushing over to me and it was decided a trip to the ER was in order to close the wound on my chin.

Eight stitches were the result.

Over the next few days, I had to pass my flower power banana seat bike everyday as it sat in the garage. Gradually, I worked up my courage to sit on it again. Then I dared to take it out of the garage and down our driveway. Finally, I was riding it on the street. My dad never put my training wheels on again.

What has happened to you and me that we want to put the training wheels back on and forget the thrill of the ride with Jesus? How ridiculous that we have determined to give up over a fall or two. We can't let the wounding of life keep us from the exhilaration of trying something new or reaching a new level of maturity because we fear falling on our faces.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Have we forgotten that we weren't promised a smooth road, but one full of gravel, ditches, and stretches in which we fly off the path unexpectedly with a hard fall? We need to get up, dust ourselves off, get stitched up, and get in the fight again! No more training wheels! We want to be able to say, with the Holy Spirit's power beneath us:

I am sure I can make it. And I'll be able to tell Daddy what I did! He'll be so proud of me!

Why This Need for Approval?

2010-07-30T00:15:00.010-05:00

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

So I am going to tell on myself here. It is after midnight. I was just about to lie down to drift off into la-la land when I suddenly realized that my dishes downstairs were not done and the kitchen looked like it had all day - a total wreck! I would have had no trouble sleeping until I realized...HE IS COMING!! You would never know by my willingness to deprive myself of much-needed sleep that I actually don't know who he is. All I know is that in a moment of insanity I scheduled our A/C unit to be checked by this stranger at 7:30 a.m. later this morning! And I would be absolutely mortified if he judged me by my dirty dishes and unswept floor.

True, he will leave and I will probably never see him again or at least not soon enough to remember what he looks like should he pass me on the street. But the thought that a stranger might think I am a slob is motivation enough to get me to clean up.

And the question I have is why, at times, do I care more about how a stranger might think of me than how Jesus does? Jesus, help me to seek you first and reduce my need to receive the approval of others.

Can't Have One Without the Other

2010-07-29T13:31:00.004-05:00

"For you have been granted [the privilege] for Christ's sake not only to believe in (adhere to, rely on, and trust in) Him, but also to suffer in His behalf." Philippians 1:29 (Amplified Bible)

If I had it my way, I would never allow suffering of any kind to be part of my life.

I love comfort. I love happiness. I love laughter.

I dread winter's cold and ice. I dread good-byes. I dread conflict in my relationships. I dread funerals.

But there are several observations I have made in the forty-two years that I have had breath in my lungs. I would not have an appreciation for what is good in my life without the contrast of what has been difficult in the trials and the sufferings I have been privileged to experience.

I would not be able to empathize with another's pain if I had none of my own.

I would not fully experience joy without sorrow's kiss.

I would not welcome the light of morning without the darkness of night.

I would not know how to measure perseverance's growth without a struggle.

I would not have won the prize without having to run the race.

I would not relish the thrill of victory without the agony of the fight.

I would not understand the worth without having to pay the cost.

I will not experience the crown without a cross.

Jesus, how thankful I am that You are known as the Man of Sorrows. Thank You that You are fully acquainted with grief. I praise You that You chose to experience the struggle of being a human being while remaining perfect in your diety. And the suffering You accepted as You walked and lived on this earth has allowed You to be the perfect Savior for the broken world You for which You came to redeem.

Simply Irresistible

2010-07-27T08:18:00.005-05:00

"You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great."
Psalm 18:35 (NIV)

"Dad, I don't know what I am going to do. Can you help me?" I sobbed into the phone.

My father has never been able to resist my tears, especially when I have expressed my need for him to help me. I have always known that it doesn't matter what time of the day or night it is when I make my request for his aid, my father will find some way to see that I am taken care of. I could call him at three a.m. and he would leave everything to get to me if necessary.

How do we become simply irresistible to our heavenly Father? Listen to these words from Scripture:

I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God.
Bend down and listen as I pray. Psalm 17:6 (NLT)

INCLINE YOUR ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and distressed, needy and desiring.

Preserve my life, for I am godly and dedicated; O my God, save Your servant, for I trust in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, without fear or doubt].

Be merciful and gracious to me, O Lord, for to You do I cry all the day. Psalm 86:1-3 (Amplified Bible)

Let my prayer come before You and really enter into Your presence; incline Your ear to my cry!
Psalm 88:2 (Amplified Bible)

It is the enemy of our souls who tells us that prayers prayed from a broken and crushed heart that cries out for God's help are ones that fall on deaf ears. Our God promises that He is close to the brokenhearted. A cry from a humble heart that recognizes how desperate it is for Him is one that He finds simply irresistible. He doesn't look at the depth of our need and run from it; He runs to us and inclines His ear accompanied with salvation for our need in His mighty righteous right arm.

If Only...

2010-07-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you."
2 Thessalonians 3:16

A year ago last spring, the Lord started speaking to me about teaching my daughter's Sunday school class. It was a thought that I hoped would leave without requiring me to act on the thought. The thought of leaving my own adult class to teach ten and eleven-year-old girls made me feel stretched beyond my comfort zone. I could blend in, contribute or not depending on my mood, and be fed by staying where I was. All I had to do was show up if I stayed where I was. The Lord gently and persistently nudged me to the point where I knew I would be disobedient if I didn't sign up to teach the girls last fall.

I cringe when I think of what I would have missed out on if I did not teach. I have learned so much from my precious girls. In a strange way, God is using our conversations to heal old, broken places in my heart, to learn to forgive myself for not being perfect as they struggle in this area, and to fall in love with Him all over again because there is still wide-eyed excitement and purity in their love for Jesus.

Today I asked the girls to anonymously fill out several questions. We had a larger group today because we combined with another class. The questions I asked were:

1) I know I would be totally happy if I had _________.

2) When I look at _______, I wish I had her life because__________.

3) If I could change one thing about the way I look I would: __________.

4) If I could be really good at one thing, I would want to be able to________________ because ___________.

5) I would like to tell other people about Jesus, but the one thing that holds me back is: ___________.

6) Sometimes I wonder why God didn’t make me ____________ because ________________.

7) The one thing I am afraid about more than anything is __________.

I didn't read the responses to the questions until this afternoon. It was amazing to see what ten, eleven, and twelve-year-olds thought. Overwhelmingly, the girls thought they would be totally happy if they had a puppy or a cat. Many were clearly influenced by the media and thought being famous was the most desirable goal they could achieve because "people would like me more." There were several who wanted to be better at a sport or dancing because they were comparing themselves to others and felt they were not as good. The majority of girls said they were shy to share their faith because of rejection. And spiders were the number one answer for things they were most afraid of.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at their responses. Not laugh to mock them, but laugh because I so empathize with their naivete about what makes a person truly happy. How often do I think a new object will assuage the ache I feel in my soul? Maybe it's not a puppy or a cat (in fact, I KNOW it's not those!!) - no, mine are bigger ticket items than that - a new car, new furniture, new landscaping... How often do I envy someone else's talent, their weight, their financial position and wish it was mine? I so struggle as I believe the lie if I could only learn to be a better mother like her, have a waistline like my friend, or be financially secure with no bills, I would be happy. My fear about sharing Jesus with others is no different than my darling fifth-grade girls. Rejection keeps my mouth shut. Why don't I realize that my only responsibility is to share, not to convert? Living in Congo cured my fear of spiders, but there are plenty of other fears that I have that hold me back.

I looked around the table at my beautiful students. I didn't see the imperfections. I saw unbelievable, sky-is-the-limit potential. But they are already convinced they are lacking something they feel they need. I tell them week in and week out that God has plans for them that they cannot imagine. It breaks my heart that they are not convinced, that they cannot see what I see.

And then I realized that must be how God feels about me believing the lies I do about all the if only's in my life...

Jesus, Your peace is the answer to all my if only's.

A Matter of Trust

2010-07-22T13:25:00.006-05:00

"Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
John 11:40

I am coming to recognize a sinister plot that I have been prey to. I have heard of others caught in its web, too, but I foolishly thought I was immune to it. In fact, I read about other victims nearly everyday who have found themselves a part of this diabolical scheme and have shaken my head, partly in pity, partly in self-righteous judgment over their blindness which got them there.

No one is above falling for this. And one rarely knows that one has become a victim until a light is shown on the problem after an extended amount of time. Sadly, some never understand what is really happening. And even after finally understanding what has transpired, that new knowledge is no guarantee that they will be saved from finding themselves there again.

I am becoming more aware of a frightening pattern in me. Take this week for example. We have been praying for something in our family with our kids. I have thought, "Lord, it is going to be so great for my children to see You come through [of course, in my way, with my timetable, and my details]...thank You so much that we can trust You with this situation."

We recently found out that the Lord closed the door that I was just positive He was going to swing open for us. It wasn't even a BIG thing we were asking for Him to do. But now that the door is slammed shut, my mind is racing about what else is going to be a no. It makes my mind run down paths of panic. I project the no onto other things that are still possibilities and become an "Eeyore" (remember the donkey in Winnie-the-Pooh?) and feel as though I have my own rain cloud over my head.

In the middle of the gloom, the Lord started speaking to my heart:

"Shawn, do you trust Me?"

Of course, I trust You, Lord.

"No, Shawn, you don't trust Me."

What? What do you mean? I do, too!

"Then why are you panicking? Why are you so upset? Why is your mind so filled with fear? Shawn, what you really want me to do is do what you want. What you want. Not what is best for you. I know the plans I have for you. They are good plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Do you believe it?"

Silence from me.

He continued:

"I am perfectly in control. My ways are higher than your ways. Don't try to figure Me out! There is no peace in that and it is impossible. I will do what will bring Me the most glory and that will be what you could not even begin to think of or imagine."

So what is the plot? Satan does not want me to have to trust my God. He knows that trust is what changes me into becoming more like Christ. He knows that if I don't trust, I will not see the glory of God or His salvation in my situation. He desires to rob me of that-to make me bitter, unyielding, and hardened. My flesh wants what it wants when it wants it, but it does not want to bring God glory. Scripture is full of people who thought they knew better than God, who failed to trust Him, and were wounded or destroyed for their arrogance. And I am one of them. No room for arrogance on my part.

My definition of trusting God has been a shallow one. It is one that demands He take away the very circumstance that makes me desperate for Him. The health issue that won't go away. The loneliness of being single. The agony of a barren womb. The empty chair at Christmas. The marital problem that plagues. The financial difficulties that never stop. My definition of trust gives me license to pout like a petulant child when I don't get my way. It is one that does not recognize that God wants holiness in my life more than my happiness.

How could I be so blind? And it will not be for the last time. I will fall prey again to the plot and lie that my God is not big enough for my circumstance. Why? Because I am human. I am made of dust. Because I do not wrestle with flesh and blood but with the accuser and his demons who want me to miss out on the abundant life Jesus has promised is mine.

Thankfully, He does not treat me as my sins deserve. His everlasting arms have never loosened their grip. I only thought so. And His kindness is what brings me to repentance.

So, Jesus, although I do not feel like it, I will praise You with all of my heart for giving me reasons to trust You today. I will believe by faith because my emotions are so unreliable. May I not be blinded as long the next time. I will not ask You to take away the circumstance. I only beg You to help me in my unbelief and to be able to say, " Not my will, but Yours be done!"

A Hard Goodbye

2010-07-20T06:00:00.005-05:00

"Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?"
Psalm 127:3 (The Message)

I don't know exactly when it happened, but I have made a startling revelation this summer. The first inkling of it happened earlier this spring. As I do every year, I sorted through my children's clothing, putting the too-small garments in a pile to give to Good Will, making room for new purchases. I have been shocked every year by how much each child has grown and have been more than slightly dismayed at what that will mean to my bank account. I have sighed resignedly at the fact that Target and Justice will be grateful for my contribution in keeping their books in the black as they each have to be visited to supplement what is lacking and necessary in each kid's wardrobe.

It doesn't happen as often as I wish, but I got on a cleaning streak earlier this spring that my three offspring still talk about. I mean the kind that doesn't just stop with the usual chores of cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, and straightening up bedrooms and the kitchen. This kind of cleaning is something I haven't done in...well...about five years (the same amount of time that we have lived in this house). This was a top to bottom sort of housecleaning - a sorting, throwing away, and storing away of items that had hung around past their time.

I was fine until I got to the playroom. Until a few months ago, that room has lived up to its name. It has been the place where two young sisters have spent hours and hours daydreaming and coming up with fantastic story lines for their Littlest Pet Shop animals and Barbie dolls. It is where dinosaurs and Star Wars laser guns and Halloween costumes have threatened to overflow their plastic containers. It is where big imaginations have run wild in small bodies and more pictures have been colored than can be counted. Books - yet unpublished by their grade school-aged authors - have found their inspiration in that pale green room.

Maybe what undid me was the fact that the playroom wasn't the playroom anymore. It has been changed into an office and living room area in the basement. And the transition came too easily, too swiftly - even though its current purpose now serves best those who use it.

The reality is that my once almost five, seven, and eight-year-old children are now my almost ten, twelve, and thirteen-year-old pre-teen daughters and teenaged son. And although I hate to admit it, the prediction long ago from those farther along in the journey of motherhood has proven true. The day came, far sooner than I had ever dreamed, when I sat on the floor, holding a soon-to-be removed princess dress-up costume in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks, as these words formed on my tongue:

Where did the time go??

And I realize I am facing a new, yet very familiar, set of anxieties as the next five years will thoroughly change my children yet again. The looming teen years bring up the same thoughts I had as a brand-new mom:

I don't know how to do this!
Where's the manual when I mess up?
Will I be enough?
Will he...she...think I am a good mom?
Will I do this right?

Children are given to parents to teach us.

My husband has often said this throughout our thirteen years of stumbling and walking through parenthood together, and I have come to realize the truth of his words all over again.

Chase, Jordyn, and Jenna, I thank Jesus for allowing me to be your mother. You have taught me far more than I could have imagined on each of the days I was told the glad news that you were going to be mine. I am praying that we will finish your childhood well. Always know that your momma loves you with all of her heart and understands God's infinite and unconditional love better because of the privilege of knowing you.

Deposits

2010-07-19T13:27:00.005-05:00

"The fruit of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever."
Isaiah 32:17

My daughter has been begging me to let her open a bank account for several months now. Jordyn is twelve and a half and has tremendous self-discipline. I see a true entrepreneurial spirit in her, even at her young age. She decided she needed to make business cards for her career as a babysitter/mother's helper. Mommy's Li'l Helper has helped her make over $200 to deposit in her bank account.

Jordyn and I walked into our local bank the other day and opened her own account. She was given a booklet to record her deposits and withdrawals. Before we left, I helped her record the amount she had deposited, explaining to her that the booklet would let her know, at a moment's glance, what her balance was in her account. She carefully wrote the numbers in her best handwriting and gave me a grin as we walked out.

I have thought of that little booklet several times since then. Without realizing it, I make deposits and withdrawals everyday in my relationships. Like all of us, I wish that the deposits outnumbered the withdrawals, growing my account. Withdrawals come in angry words with my kids (especially now that it is summer and we are together 24/7), impatience with my husband, and a lack of following up on my friendships. There are times when I realize that I have not made a sizable deposit in some time and my account in each of those areas is shrinking. Before long, I am overdrawn, weary, and feeling horrible about myself. I have wondered why my children do not listen to me and talk in a harsh tone to each other and then the Lord reminds me of my own tone.

Making positive deposits is difficult because I must go against my sinful nature to achieve them. Those deposits require me as mommy to read one more story when all I want to do is fall into bed after a long day. They require me to do one more load of laundry, play a game of kickball outside in the heat, make another meal, fill the dishwasher yet again. Deposits require me to take a fast from poisonous words that would hurt those I love or refrain from the words, "I told you so!" to someone who didn't listen to me even though my advice was asked for. It's ironic how a positive deposit can feel like a withdrawal when the reality is dying to myself grows me more in the image of Christ and benefits not only me, but all those in whose lives I make deposits.

A Spiritual Lesson From My Obsession With Basil

2010-07-14T11:47:00.010-05:00

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him." 2 Corinthians 2:14

I have become obsessed with basil. I credit its intense aroma and flavor for rejuvenating my lackluster interest in cooking. I am even thinking of growing the plant myself. You would not understand how amazing that thought is until you realize that I kill every plant in my care. My father-in-law gave me two cacti plants, assuring me that I could not kill them. Ummmm....they both are deader than doornails. So for me to understand my horrible track record with plants and still consider raising basil is quite a statement to how much I adore this little plant.

Basil smells wonderful in the package. Ask my sister about my obsession with perfume. I can barely tear myself away from something that tantalizes my nose - whether that is food or a fragrance. I have been known to take the basil out of the package and inhale as deeply as I can.

I have tried several new recipes calling for this pungent leaf. In all of them, I have been instructed to chop the basil. As I have applied my knife to the tender green leaves and cut away on the chopping board, the aroma of the basil has overtaken my kitchen. That scent has made me anticipate the meal ahead. The heat of the pan allows the flavor of the leaf to become even more noticeable. There is no doubt by the time the dish is done that basil is a part of the dish.

I stood there over my cutting board thinking today of how the preparation of basil contains a spiritual lesson. Basil is of no use to me and my culinary efforts if it remains in the package. It just looks like a bunch of green leaves. It is not until the knife and the heat are applied that the basil does what it was intended to do - flavor the dish. The Lord uses the knife and heat of trials on me, too. What is my purpose? Not to sit in my package unused. Like basil, I will wither, turn brown, and never know the abundant life He promised me if I am not used. I am to be the aroma of Christ to a dying world who desperately needs to know that Jesus is the answer for life's difficulties. But the only way that that is accomplished is by the Lord releasing that wonderful fragrance in me that is Him through the trials He has ordained for His glory.

Jesus, help me not to dread the knife and fire. You work all things in my life to release the glorious fragrance of Yourself in me to others.

Blind Faith

2010-07-12T23:09:00.002-05:00

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27 (NKJV)

There are times when the Lord asks us for blind trust. I remember a rope swing at the Mennonite hostel in Kinshasa, the capital city of my adopted country of Congo. I longed to ride it, especially when I heard the squeals of delight from the other kids as they flew through the air off the branch of the tree the swing was tied to. I climbed the tree many times, but always backed down due to my fear.

One day, I knew that I would get on that swing and take the risk of falling fifteen feet to the ground. The ground wasn't suddenly any closer, nor had I become braver overnight. It was only that I wanted to know the joy of putting my trust in that rope and flying through the air. I climbed the tree and placed my body on the thin strip of wood, closed my eyes, and jumped off. The moment I left the branch, I was overcome with fear, but it was too late to turn back. I was in mid-air. A fleeting thought passed my mind of the pain that would be the result of the fall if the swing couldn't hold my weight.

But as the ground whizzed by underneath me and I came up on the other side, I opened my eyes and laughed out loud for the joy that was now mine because I dared to believe the rope could hold me.

How comforting to know that underneath us are the everlasting arms - not a rope and a slab of wood - but the arms from which we cannot be snatched. I have heard the Lord ask me, "Shawn, are you willing to jump? Are you willing to trust and KNOW that it is only my arms holding you up, or do you just want this only as head knowledge?" I have jumped and must admit to you that I have not gotten to the other side yet. The fears have flashed before me for longer than a few seconds. I still feel the ground rushing toward me. But I am believing, by faith, that the exhilaration of obeying with blind trust will be mine if I hold on.

Jesus, blind trust would be foolish in anyone or anything other than You. Help me in this time of darkness to hold Your hand and know that I have nothing to fear.

Looking For the Wells

2010-05-19T13:32:00.001-05:00

"Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink."
Genesis 21:19 (NIV)

I am coming out of a desert experience in which I have wondered where God is in a certain life situation. How thankful I am for the book of Genesis where He instructed a slave woman to look for the well He had provided in her desperation. I have heard Him give me the same instruction. Let's be encouraged! He knows, He cares, and He has the answer for our deepest need!

When Honesty Costs Greatly

2010-04-19T08:56:00.003-05:00

"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."
1 Timothy 1:5

My husband is going to be shocked! He is an avid golf watcher and player. I have no interest whatsoever in the game. In fact, I would rather read a dictionary than sit and watch men try to place a small white object in a cup with a flag in it. Rob occasionally coaxes me to walk nine holes with him. I join him for his company, not because I love golf.

But I must say that what happened yesterday made me respect a golfer who had a chance to win his first major tournament and watched it slip away because of his own 'fessing up to a misplay. Because I feel completely incompetent to record what happened, I thought I would copy the event of yesterday from a news source I found on the story:

"[Brian] Davis, a 35-year-old Englishman seeking his first victory in his sixth season on the PGA Tour, only had an opportunity to hit his third shot because he wasn't attempting it at high tide.

With his second swing on the par-4 18th Davis had pushed his ball left. It kicked left into rocks that border the shoreline of the harbor, and then bounced into the hard, wet sand and clumps of sea grass left behind by a receding water line.

So, at best it was a long shot, but, while no bargain, Davis was remarkably still alive.

At least Davis was until he blasted out of the soggy mess with an extremely fine shot to inside 30 feet of the pin -- and promptly summoned Tour tournament director and rules official Slugger White over to call a penalty on himself.

The location from where Davis hit the shot was beyond the hazard stakes. When inside a hazard, a player is prohibited by the Rules of Golf from touching a loose impediment before the shot.

Davis told White that, as he brought his club back during takeaway, he believed the backswing had caused a stalk in a clump of soggy, dead reeds to move.

"I didn't feel it. But I was pretty sure I saw -- I was actually closing my eyes coming down into the sand," Davis said. "It was one of those things I thought I saw movement out of the corner of my eye."

Moments later, a television replay confirmed Davis' fear and the two-stroke penalty made [Jim] Furyk's routine two-putt par and second victory of the season almost anticlimactic." [Mick Ellliot is a senior Golf Writer for Fanhouse.]

Jim Furyk was set to win. But while Furyk walked away with the coveted title and reward, Brian Davis walked away with a clear conscience. Davis called attention to his mistake without being coerced. And his honesty led to his loss. In my opinion, in his defeat, Brian Davis won.

What do you and I want to be remembered for, girlfriends? I can bet that Davis walked away heavy-hearted. What a tough way to lose. Have you and I been tempted to think that when we were honest, we walked away the loser? I thought of some examples of how this might look:

** a confrontation that had to happen with love as the motive behind it, was prayed over, and yet was badly received and the friendship is possibly no more.

** a sharing of a deeply personal matter in confidence with someone that we thought the information was safe with and having the sinking realization that it was told to the person(s) involved for the purpose of causing dissension. Now we are reeling under Satan's lie that everyone is a liar and no one can be trusted.

** having to impose tough love in a marriage where a spouse is clearly acting outside the boundaries of God's blessing or with a teenage child who refuses to obey to his or her own detriment.

** honesty in your job that costs you a promotion and gives it to someone else.

Dear sisters! Have we forgotten what our Jesus values? He is far more concerned with the shaping of our character than the injustice of our circumstances. He is the Lord of heaven and earth and has the power to change those circumstances in a blink of an eye. But we are the ones who have free will. He cannot make us be obedient. When we are, especially when our honesty costs us dearly, do we realize how much we delight His heart? I have three children. When they obey without being coaxed, my mother heart soars! So does our God's!!!

Do not believe the lie that no one saw you do the hard thing. The most important Being in all of the universe not only saw, but has your reward in His hand. I do not know when that reward will come, but it will come. Be sure of it. The One who bottles every tear and records it in His book is the One who saw what we did that cost us so much in this short life of ours that will last for 70, maybe 80, years. In view of eternity, that is NOTHING!! And Scripture promises us in 2 Corinthians 4:17:

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

Jesus knows! Jesus cares! Jesus rewards!

What is better than walking away from a huge amount of money given on this earth that will pass away? A clear conscience before our God. Sweet peace as we lay our head on the pillow knowing we have obeyed, not out of duty, but out of the grateful realization that we get to delight our Abba with our obedience. We will trust Him to make all things right, to make just what was not. To make up what we "lost" because we acted in obedience even though it cost us greatly. Let's remember Who is keeping score!

Jesus, it is so difficult to wait to be rewarded when we, humanly, have every right to expect it and don't receive what we want. Give us Your vision. May we live more and more with an eternal perspective, rather than with our blind, earthly eyes. And, Jesus, come close to our hearts that are broken even though we have done what You wanted us to. Whisper Your love to us in the dark:

"Well done, my beloved child, well done!"

Houston-bound!

2010-04-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!

I am on my way to Houston, TX to open God's Word with the ladies of Heights Baptist Church this weekend. Please pray for the presence of the Lord to pervade our time together. I am so excited to see what He is going to do!

Blessings!

Shawn

His Name is Jealous

2010-03-19T18:03:00.002-05:00

What if your greatest enemy was suddenly taken out of the picture? How would you remember him or her to others? Let's discuss why David was called a man after God's own heart and learn what God calls Himself in Exodus 34:14. It might surprise you!

Join Shawn for the final session of her Bible study, Living With Unmet Desires: Exposing the Many Faces of Jealousy.

What Was Never Intended

2010-03-15T09:34:00.008-05:00

What God Never Intended:

Apathy

Broken hearts

Cemeteries

Divorce

Enemies

False prophets

God-haters

Hell

Injustice

Jail

Knowledge of evil

Lying tongues

Murder

Narcissism

Ostracism

Panic attacks

Quenching the Spirit

Regrets

Self-sufficiency

Tragedy

Unbelief

Viciousness

Wickedness

These are all a result of our rebellion against our Creator.

But we have hope! Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior can look forward to this promise of heaven:

"I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it. Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Revelation 21:22-27

Until this is a reality, you and I are to put our hand in the hand of our God and walk humbly before Him, believing that this earth, with its sorrows and injustices, is just a blink of time compared to the joy that awaits us for all eternity.

Not Unaware of His Schemes

2010-03-15T08:42:00.002-05:00

"in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes."
2 Corinthians 2:11

We have a real enemy who is invisible to the eye, but very real in the devastation he creates in our lives. Join Shawn as we discuss five traps that Satan uses to lure us into his scheme to reject God's best for our lives.

The Purpose of the Desert

2010-03-06T20:09:00.002-06:00

Why does God take us to the desert if He loves us? Join me as we examine a journal entry of David's written while he was in the desert on the run from King Saul.

Session 7 of Living With Unmet Desires. To watch previous teaching sessions, go to www.tangle.com and search "esengo ministries."

For An Unsung Hero

2010-03-01T06:00:00.000-06:00

Have you ever felt overlooked or as though you are living in someone else's shadow? Not many people handle those feelings well, but Scripture provides one of the greatest contrasts in character between a villain and a hero living in the same family. Join me as we discuss one of the most amazing unsung heroes by the world in all of Scripture.

Session 6 of Living With Unmet Desires.

Dallas Bound

2010-02-25T11:32:00.002-06:00

"Sing to God, sing praise to his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds - his name is the LORD—
and rejoice before him." Psalm 68:4

Hey everyone!

Well, I am travelling to Dallas/Waco Texas to speak and share my heart about the study. I would really appreciate your prayers!

God has blessed this trip incredibly. I have opportunities to speak to several influential media people. In addition, I will be speaking at a Baylor University event on Saturday.

Please pray that God would give me calm and clarity so that I may be used by Him.

Love you, girlfriends!

P.S. My latest video teaching session is up on tangle.com/shawnlantz/media

LWUD - Session 5 - A Jealous Eye on Him

2010-02-19T23:20:00.000-06:00

Four Core Issues of a Jealous Heart

2010-02-18T23:44:00.008-06:00

"And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
Ecclesiastes 4:4

Hey girlfriends!

I just figured out a way to post my teaching sessions from my Bible study, Living With Unmet Desires, here on the blog. This first video session includes highlights from the introductory session I taught my current Bible study group a few weeks ago.

I never would have characterized myself as a jealous person. If I had seen this Bible study on the shelves of my Christian bookstore, I would have likely passed over it for something else. But I have come to realize through the writing of this book that jealousy is far more pervasive than I would have ever imagined. It is so insidious because it masks itself as another emotion and hides its ugly face far more than we realize.

I have come to understand that jealousy is not the problem. Jealousy is a symptom of a broken heart. There are four core heart issues that every heart struggles with that, I believe, when not dealt with in a godly way, beckon jealous thoughts into the vacuum created by the unanswered questions we may have.

It is my hope and deep desire that through this study, women will start to ask themselves different and, sometimes, difficult questions of themselves. If you have a relationship that is in chaos and you cannot seem to understand what the reason for all the trouble is, I would like to suggest that jealousy just might be hiding itself behind the anger and bitterness in that relationship.

I pray that this will be a blessing to you. The full session and subsequent teaching sessions can be found at www.tangle.com/shawnlantz/media. (Copy and paste in your address bar as sometimes this link will not work.)

May Jesus be glorified as we wrestle with these deep heart core issues through the healing pages of His Word.

The Paralyzing Pursuit of Perfection

2010-02-15T18:11:00.000-06:00

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Join Shawn in week four of Living With Unmet Desires as we uncover four snares we can fall into when we seek the approval of others.

What I Have Been Up To

2010-02-13T14:36:00.011-06:00

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36

Hey everyone!

Yes, things have been pretty busy! I was able to go to Michigan for several speaking opportunities and a television interview with LeSea broadcasting on my Bible study, Living With Unmet Desires. The schedule was very daunting as I entered the week of January 25th, but the Lord gave me so much peace as I went from one thing to the next. Here is a rundown of what the last three weeks have looked like:

The week started out with an interview with LeSea Broadcasting in South Bend, IN. After reading through Living With Unmet Desires, the host requested two additional teaching segments to be recorded. They will be aired in the coming weeks. The host believed that the message of Living With Unmet Desires was groundbreaking information that would greatly help LeSea's audience to understand the impact that jealousy can have on our lives.

The evening of the interview found me at a wonderful church in Canton, MI where I was given the exciting opportunity to connect with the group of women who are currently doing the study by teaching that week's lesson. I returned the next morning to teach the morning group at the same church. The time spent with the women confirmed again again how passionate I am to minister to women.

Grace Bible College in Grand Rapids warmly welcomed me as their speaker to their first all-student chapel after the Christmas holidays. I was able to share my heart with students twenty years younger than myself as I encouraged the students to choose truth in their lives. Several students stayed after to talk and pray with me. They are considering doing Living With Unmet Desires as a small group study for students on campus.

My heart remains deeply tied to the people of the Democratic Republic of Congo where I spent some of my most formative years growing up as a child of missionary parents. My parents are founders of Laban Ministries International (www.labanministries.org). I was privileged to end the week as the guest speaker of the fund-raising event for the Women's Literacy Center in the Congo at First Presbyterian Church of Trenton, MI. The event was hosted by the church as a ladies tea in which over 140 women attended. The generous giving of those in attendance allowed $5600 to be raised for the literacy center in the Congo to give hope and dignity to Congolese women who are learning to read, through the center's three year program.

I am now back in Nashville and continue to teach Living With Unmet Desires on a weekly basis at my home church in Nashville, TN to a fabulous group of women excited about and open to what the Lord is teaching us through the study. I am thrilled to see the Lord doing amazing things and touching the hearts of those who are diligently seeking Him for answers on how to live at peace with our unmet desires. My teaching sessions can be found on www.tangle.com/shawnlantz/media. Take a look!

I leave for Dallas/Waco Texas at the end of February to speak and share my heart about the study. I would really appreciate your prayers! Love you, girlfriends! Please come visit me on Facebook at Shawn Lantz.

I Need A Need

2010-01-27T05:06:00.000-06:00

This is something I wrote back in November. It is kind of geared towards guys but what can I say ... I'm Rob and I'm a guy.

Shawn is in MI/IN on her first book tour. Me ... home with the kids and scrambling to put a couple proposals together for work.

I just realized something ...God gave me a need. Want to know what I mean. Then read on.

I need a need

Let me be circuitous.

Are you a new christian? I mean, do you walk around each day with the palpable knowledge that your sins have been forgiven. Can you recall the newness of your rebirth with fresh and vivid detail? I know Jesus is our Lord, but do we recall when more than anything he was our SAVIOR!

So many things are different in my world than the world Jesus lived. When Jesus walked the earth, man worked to survive. Whole communities would spend their waking hours to eke out a meager existence for themselves and their families. No blog time, no facebook, no cable, no golf/tennis/running, no journaling, no College Gameday or Monday Night Football.

No. None of those things. And free-time? That was called sleep and sabbath.

So, when Jesus spoke to the masses words like: You must give to receive. It was a big deal. The people who took such an outrageous action were not lessening their clothing budget or shortening their vacation time. They were giving up food. When they gave up time, they were lessening the time they had to provide for themselves and their families.

I read something yesterday that really struck me.

In Mark 16 we read: After Jesus said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation...And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new toungues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well"...Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it."

The thing that struck me was that in order for the disciples to experience the Lord working in their lives and confirming with great signs and wonders, it was incumbent upon them to begin the task of preaching everywhere.

One follows the other. We act and Jesus confirms!

When we are in need, and despite our need we act on Jesus' behalf ...we open the door and beckon our Lord to enter our lives with power. When we, in the fullness of our lives, impoverish ourselves for Jesus' sake, we drive our Lord to work on our behalf. He becomes our Savior again.

Tired of the life in Christ that you are experiencing? Is your faith in a rut? In need of the spark of God's awesome power in your life?

Then begin the process!

Look out around your life and see how Jesus would like you to serve, to give, to aid AND THEN DO IT!! When we act JESUS WILL CONFIRM! And Be Our Awesome God and Saviour in a fresh, new way.

That's the power that I want to know! That is why I Need a Need today. To joyfully serve my King.

Please lift up Shawn as she is traveling to Grand Rapids to meet with Family Bookstore execs and speak at a colleges chapel service. You can learn more on her schedule; link located on the left margin. If you are on Facebook, you can also get up to date info at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shawn-Lantz/177190276554

May God's richest blessings be upon you, Rob

Urgent Prayer Request

2010-01-14T19:29:00.002-06:00

Please pray for my daddy tomorrow. He is having major surgery. Arrival time tomorrow at the hospital is 9:45 am in MI. Surgery at 12:30. We can't tell you what your prayers are meaning to us and doing for us. The body of Christ is a mighty army of blood bought believers who are standing with us. Powerful!

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are kept safe." Proverbs 18:10

Nine and One

2010-01-07T08:50:00.002-06:00

"It happened that as [Jesus] made his way toward Jerusalem, he crossed over the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered a village, ten men, all lepers, met him. They kept their distance but raised their voices, calling out, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!"

Taking a good look at them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests."

They went, and while still on their way, became clean. One of them, when he realized that he was healed, turned around and came back, shouting his gratitude, glorifying God. He kneeled at Jesus' feet, so grateful. He couldn't thank him enough—and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus said, 'Were not ten healed? Where are the nine? Can none be found to come back and give glory to God except this outsider?' Then he said to him, "Get up. On your way. Your faith has healed and saved you.'"
Luke 17:11-19 (The Message)

Ten lives. Ten deformed bodies. Ten ravaged souls. Ten broken hearts. Ten.

One perfect Healer. One perfect Redeemer. One perfect tongue. One.

Ten lives. Ten healed bodies. Ten wounded hearts bound up. Ten new beginnings. Ten.

One grateful heart. One mouth of praise. One prostrate worshipper. One.

Nine missed blessings. Nine entitled hearts. Nine blind minds. Nine.

One mouth praised the Healer. Nine silent mouths walked away.

Am I the one or nine?

Prayer Request For My Dad

2010-01-06T09:15:00.001-06:00

Hello everyone,

I am asking you to pray for my dad, Jim Smith. He is going to have surgery on January 15th in Michigan that is quite serious with possible complications. He is going to be operated on by one of the best doctors, so I am not concerned about that. I covet your prayers for he and my mom. Pray that we as a family will be found worthy of our God. I don't know what that means. But I know Who holds the future and He has told me that if I make the Most High my dwelling place, I will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. That is a great comfort to me. Pray that we will rest in His peace, that His shadow will hide us and cover us from the fear that threatens to overwhelm when thoughts go racing at night in the dark.

"The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!" Habakkuk 3:19 (Amplified Bible).

I am clinging to this truth because His way is perfect! Thank you for praying!

Shawn

The Blessing of Scattering

2010-01-04T09:08:00.005-06:00

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build..."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

Hello my friends!

I wanted to ask us a question today: Do we feel as though we or our relationships have been scattered? As you and I look back over the past twelve months in these early days of 2010, is there pain over realizing that some of our relationships are drastically different? Has God allowed some of those dearest to you and me to be ripped from our lives? Why does He allow that to happen?

I am going through my One Year Chronological Bible by Tyndale Publishers for the tenth time this year. No single Biblical tool has helped me to grasp the Bible's events and people and their proper places than this version of the Bible. It allows me to read the Scriptures as a story. It has changed my spiritual walk and understanding of the perfection of the inerrant Word of God.

Today I read Genesis 11, which is the sobering account of the tower of Babel. Every time I read this story, I am struck by the depravity of the human heart. Following the flood that destroyed all human beings, those who lived on earth all spoke one language. Everyone understood everyone else. I don't know what that language was called (I am certain it was not English!), but I was thinking about how convenient it would be if we all understood each other. We could talk to anyone we wanted to. Think of all we could accomplish if there were no language barriers!

But Scripture tells us that this common language brought out the absolute worst in people. Instead of using this gift of communication to glorify the Creator, pride entered the hearts of men and women who decided to build a tower that "...reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth." (Genesis 11:4) If God had not intervened and confused the language of these people, they would have thought that nothing was impossible for them. In the end, their pride brought about what they had been trying to avoid - being scattered over the face of the earth. He had to scatter them for their own good.

My darling friend, what is the lesson for you and me? Sometimes you and I need to take a good hard look at why the scattering has occurred in our lives. I wonder if, under conviction of the Holy Spirit, the Lord is able to reveal why some of those relationships are no more or why they look so different. (If this does not apply to our situation, we do not need to be covered in false guilt. We don't have to receive it. I am not talking about those relationships where we know that we have God's blessing with a beloved person whom we have lost to death in the past year.) I am talking about those relationships that we justify, knowing that God is not in them. If we were really honest, we might see that God did not get glory in that relationship with the man or woman we were spending so much time with. Perhaps he or she had taken the place of our first Love, Jesus Christ. If we look a little harder at the situation, our relationship with that friend had deteriorated into full-blown gossip sessions, slander of others, sexual immorality, or had caused our heart to grow cold toward the will of God in our lives.

I will not evaluate what needs to be evaluated unless I am forced to. The pill is too bitter to swallow. Sometimes God has to completely shake my world for me to come clean before Him. I will not give up what can be slowly killing me with its poison because the poison has disguised itself so well. The pleasure to my flesh is too tantalizing. The heartbreak of the scattering is agonizing. I can become angry and hard-hearted in my disappointment.

But, eventually, if I let Him, He will show me how good He is to have scattered my world. Eventually, I will stand in awe of what He has protected me from and will praise Him for ridding me of what was slowly causing my destruction. I can see the pride, the horror of my ego, as I fall on my face over His gracious mercy to me. And my bruised and healing heart will say once again, "You, O Lord, are God and You are good to me."

Chris Fabry Live Interview Today!

2009-12-30T11:55:00.004-06:00

Please pray with me, friends, that Jesus will be high and lifted up in the Moody radio interview today with Chris Fabry. He will be interviewing me on my Bible study, Living With Unmet Desires. The program is live at 2:00 p.m. CST on the Moody stations, but you can listen to the interview online at the link provided below. Please copy and paste.

http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_programupcoming.aspx?id=18272

My Favorite Christmas Memory

2009-12-25T11:11:00.008-06:00

Hello everyone!

This was the memory I shared on the Focus on the Family Christmas Day broadcast which aired today:

Merry Christmas everyone and may December 25th be all about Him!

His Amazing Gifts - Significance

2009-12-23T11:59:00.002-06:00

Ever struggled with feeling significant? Me, too! Let's talk about one of God's most amazing gifts - significance.

Come visit me on Facebook (Shawn Lantz)!

Focus On The Family

2009-12-21T16:04:00.001-06:00

Tune in to Focus on the Family's Christmas Day broadcast to hear me share my favorite Christmas memory as a missionary kid from the Congo as part of their listeners' memories broadcast. I am the last caller of the program. :) If you do not have an affiliate, you can always listen online. The program is scheduled to air... December 25th. Merry Christmas friends! I am so thankful for you!

His Amazing Gifts - His Silence

2009-12-21T08:25:00.001-06:00

Has God ever been silent in your life for a time? Let's talk about how His silence can be a gift to those of us who are listening for His voice.

His Amazing Gifts - Waiting

2009-12-18T08:15:00.001-06:00

Hey girlfriends!

I believe that waiting is the hardest thing we will ever have to do when we do not know what the outcome is going to be. Let's talk about the gift of waiting.

His Amazing Gifts - Scars

2009-12-17T08:10:00.000-06:00

Hey girlfriends!

Some of us have scars on the outside; all of us have them on the inside. Let's talk today about how scars can be a gift.

His Amazing Gifts - Contentment

2009-12-15T15:31:00.001-06:00

Hey Girlfriends,

Ever struggled with wanting something someone else had? Let's talk about one of the greatest gifts we can receive through our relationship with Jesus Christ - the ability to be content no matter what our lot is.

His Amazing Gifts - His Name

2009-12-14T07:51:00.001-06:00

Hey Girlfriends!

Who do we call on when we are afraid, in trouble, or don't know what to do? Let's talk about the most powerful name ever given to human beings - the name of Jesus! Come see me on Facebook!

His Amazing Gifts - The Book of Remembrance

2009-12-11T07:58:00.000-06:00

Hey Girlfriends!

Do you know how to be included in God's book of Remembrance? Let's find out today!

His Amazing Gifts - Perseverance

2009-12-10T08:14:00.001-06:00

Hey Girlfriends!

Feel like giving up today? Let's talk about one of the most amazing gifts our God has given us through the power of Jesus Christ - the ability to persevere. Come see me on Facebook (Shawn Lantz)!

His Amazing Gifts - Storms

2009-12-09T10:39:00.002-06:00

Hey my sweet girlfriends!

Are you in the middle of a storm in life? Let's find hope and encouragement in God's precious Word as I talk about why God allows the storm.

His Amazing Gifts - His Discipline

2009-12-08T16:39:00.002-06:00

Hey girlfriends,

This devotional is about a gift that is hard to receive - God's discipline. So what is the purpose of His discipline? Hebrews 12:5-11 holds the answer.

Please remember to mute the blog music at the bottom of this page!

His Amazing Gifts - Choosing Joy

2009-12-07T10:03:00.003-06:00

Please remember to mute the blog music at the bottom of this page!!

Hey girlfriends!
Okay, so I looked like a ghost in the last video! Thanks for bearing with my amateurish attempts at these videos. Despite my less than perfect presentations, I pray with my whole heart that these little devotionals are an encouragement to you! Come visit me on Facebook (Shawn Lantz) and become a follower of my ministry site!

His Amazing Gifts - The Gift of Disappointment

2009-12-04T10:10:00.000-06:00

Hey Girlfriends!

Have you ever realized that disappointment can be one of the greatest gifts God has ever allowed us to experience? I pray that this is an encouragement to you. Please stop over at Facebook and become a friend on my ministry page (Shawn Lantz). Love you all!

Please remember to mute the music at the bottom of the page!

His Amazing Gifts - The Redeemer

2009-12-03T10:17:00.003-06:00

Hey girlfriends!

Pop over to my Facebook page (Shawn Lantz) if you do Facebook. Hope this is a blessing to you!

**Remember to mute the music at the bottom of the blog page!**

His Amazing Gifts - Peace

2009-12-02T11:15:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone!

What does every human heart long for, but is

impossible to find outside of a personal

relationship with Jesus Christ?

**Please mute the blog music at the bottom

of the blog page!**

His Amazing Gifts

2009-12-01T18:40:00.005-06:00

"The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is

eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Romans 6:23

Day One of my video devotional series for this Christmas.

***You'll need to mute the

blog music at the bottom of this page.****

Come visit me on Facebook on my new ministry page (Shawn Lantz).

Darkest Before Dawn

2009-12-01T06:00:00.000-06:00

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

Hebrews 10:36 (NIV)

I grew up on a remote bush mission station in the Democratic Republic of Congo. My favorite time of the day was when the first layer of dusk would settle over our house. I knew that I would soon hear the roar of the diesel generator which would allow the light switch in my bedroom to work. The happiest part of my day was spent in the evening hours when we would be able to listen to our record player (I know that I am dating myself!) and I would not have to use a flashlight or candle to see where I was going.

It seemed to me that the three hours of light during the evening zoomed by, followed by a very long night before I would be able to see again. I would hear my father's footsteps as he passed my upstairs' bedroom window to cut the power from the generator for the night. I would race to take out my candle and matches and count the steps it took to get from the edge of my bed to my desk where I placed them. I would mentally take a last look around my room before the darkness swallowed it up, wanting to remember how everything looked in the light. And then I would hear the generator sputter and cough and give out as the light faded into inky blackness.

There is something about darkness that makes me forget what I have heard and seen in the light. Cares and concerns are much more intense in the darkness when the brilliance of the sun shining on them is missing. What might only be a passing thought during the day can become exaggerated and horribly disproportionate when I can't see what is around me.

My darling friend, are you in the dark? Has the darkness of your circumstances surrounded you for so long that you are beginning to wonder if the promises He spoke to you through His Word still exist? It is always darkest before dawn--just before the light breaks through. You and I cannot let go and give up. There is too much at stake. The barren place we have been in will turn into a proving ground if we persevere through this time of blind faith. Our God is the One who gives us treasures of darkness and riches stored in secret places so that you and I may know that He is God. Hold on, my dear friend, hold on! The dawn may be just around the corner!

Jesus, my darkness is not darkness to You. You are light. Give me the courage to persevere so that I can receive what You have promised me.

Not Home Yet

2009-11-30T09:45:00.005-06:00

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸Therefore encourage each other with these words."

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 (NIV)

I find myself praying something my father's mother used to pray a lot when I was a little girl:

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

I used to pray that He would come after I got married and had children. My almost twelve-year-old daughter confided to me the other day that she prays that same prayer. I assured her that her desire to grow up and have the joy of marriage and motherhood is natural. But I also told her that one day she would start praying the way I do now and so many others before me have prayed when she has tasted enough of this world's sorrow and injustice.

I used the following story in my Bible study, Living With Unmet Desires, to illustrate the truth of why the glad reality of heaven can be forgotten in the middle of the muck we might find ourselves in. I cannot read it without tears coming to my eyes.

Forty years after leaving their homeland of America to serve as missionaries in Africa, Henry Morrison and his wife were pulling into the port for the last time at New York Harbor. As Henry looked at the dock where the ship carrying them home was to pull in, he saw a large crowd awaiting the ship’s arrival. Astonished at the excitement of the people in the port, Henry turned to his wife and said,

“They haven’t forgotten about us!”

Unbeknownst to the Morrisons was the fact that their ship also carried President Teddy Roosevelt returning home from a hunting expedition to Africa. The crowd was in a frenzied state of excitement as President Roosevelt emerged from the ship. Deafening cheers from those welcoming the president engulfed the Morrisons as they slowly walked away from the ship, unnoticed, to hail a cab to take them to their one bedroom apartment. Not one person had been waiting in the vast crowd to greet the missionary couple on their return.

Henry Morrison fell into a depression as he tried to put the incident at the harbor out of his mind. After several weeks of wrestling with his feelings, he turned to his wife one day to confess his bitterness concerning the matter. Henry shared how dejected he felt as he compared the warmth of the crowd toward President Roosevelt returning from a hunting trip with the coldness of having no one to greet the Morrisons.

Mrs. Morrison encouraged Henry to go to the Lord with his sorrow, reminding her husband that God did not mind Henry’s questioning Him over his feelings. Henry decided to take his wife’s advice and quietly went into the bedroom and closed the door.

Henry Morrision poured out his grief to the Lord on his knees in the small room. He told the Lord that he felt it just wasn’t right that the president had received such an enormous welcome when Henry and his wife had received rejection after faithfully serving God for forty years without complaining.

Several minutes passed before Henry returned to his wife’s side. Mrs. Morrison wondered at the change in Henry’s face. His expression was peaceful as he explained to her what had taken place in the bedroom between the Lord and him.

“The Lord settled it for me,” Henry conﬁded in his wife. “I told Him how bitter I was that the President received this tremendous homecoming, but no one even met us as we returned home. As I ﬁnished, it seemed as though the Lord put His hand on my shoulder and simply said:

‘But, Henry, you are not home yet!’”

My sweet Jesus, how often I forget that I not home yet. You have gone to prepare a place for me and You are coming back to get me so that where You are, I also may be! The seventy or eighty years here in these shadowlands are only a vapor. Strengthen my heart today to know: the best is yet to come! Even so, Lord Jesus, come!